Homosexuality / Chastity

Can homosexuals morally enter into chaste relationships? For companionship, for example.

I suppose it would depend, in part, on whether it is a near occasion of sin or scandal. One wouldn’t generally advise a man to live with a woman he is not married to, “but chastely,” because it would be scandalous if not full of temptation. If one is attracted to the same sex, I think a similar principle applies.

But the way you framed the question, the term “companionship” makes me uncomfortable with the idea, as that term is associated with close, exclusive relationships akin to those of married persons. It is not just the act of intercourse which is forbidden to persons not married to each other; it is possible to sin in one’s heart, by entertaining impure affections for example. If those are likely to be stirred up or nurtured, then it is a near occasion of sin.

Anybody can be friends with anybody.

A chaste homosexual relationship in the intimate sense is an oxymoron, since chastity is either a husband and wife bound in matrimony or a person being generously single / consecrated.

I think TK421 summed it up nicely. My understanding of church doctrine is that the sin is not in having a same sex attraction—the sin is in acting on that attraction. This actually corresponds to the sin committed by a heterosexual couple who are not married but engage in sexual intercourse. Since there are also sins of mental lust, it would depend on the close relationship. I am a married professional woman. I have several good friends who are men. I can honestly say that I have never even thought of them as sexual objects–they are just buddies that I joke with, maybe go have a beer with after a long day, etc. At night, I am always only too happy to be home in my own bed with my own husband. Neither myself nor my husband has ever felt uncomfortable when I’m around these guys. So, I think you might have to answer part of your question yourself. Is your same sex friend only that—a friend? OR is your same sex friend someone that you are attracted to physically?:shrug:

I think that as long as it is just friendship then it is okay, but if it is a romantic type of relationship in which they boyfriends/girlfriends, then it would not be okay.

As has been said already, heterosexual people can just be friends with people of the opposite sex just like homosexual people can just be friends with people of the same sex. A homosexual person should not be in a romantic relationship though, just like heterosexual people should not be in relationships with people they do not intend on possibly eventually marrying.

There have been instances of homosexuals living together chastely. They can actually help each other grow in faith and support each other because most people don’t fully understand what they’re going through. But I think it would be an occasion of near sin if they were attracted to each other. Not the best idea to live with someone you’re attracted to unless you’re married (near occasion of sin).


I would slightly modify this. If both people are chaste and mature, and there were clear boundaries in the living arrangement, then I don’t think it would create a problem.

It is a different thing to (a) find a person attractive and to (b) be tempted to pursue that person sexually. So I think living with a person you find attractive could be OK, at least with same-sex relationships, but living with a person who is a temptation to you is not OK.

Many/most gay men have a long history of living with other men who they find attractive. Consider dorms, college housing, etc. I don’t see that attraction by itself creates a problem.


(disinterested friendships)

Not “romantic relationships”. Such is ordered towards the potential vocation of Marriage.


(disinterested friendships)

Not “romantic relationships”. Such is ordered towards the potential vocation of Marriage.

Applicable principles:
1). Sex outside marriage is wrong;
2). Same sex couples not eligible to marry.

With these in mind, I believe that homosexuality is not relevant to your question.

The behaviour of the couple may be however. A homosexual couple should not behave as though romantically involved and intending a future which breaches the principles. For that would be to promote sin.

Hence ergo --Not a “couple”

But friends…as one has with other friends…

Friendship. Not “couple” (the word usually is not involved in friendship --my male friend and I go to the movies and leave my wife at home with the kids are not want to be called a couple)

Yes, fair enough. In this context I meant couple as no more than reference to the “two” persons. Their challenge would be to remain not a couple!

enter into chaste relationships?

A large part of the answer depends on what you mean by this “entering” into relationships.

Can they have friends that are gay. SURE!

Can they put themselves in a quasi couple relationship? Probably not a good idea.

I have known a lot of homosexuals. But never any that “coupled up” and were chaste. I suppose it could exist though. Possibly the elderly.

Quoted myself.:frowning:

Friendships…not “quasi couple relationship”.

Yes. Friendships are ok. Acting like a couple, or trying to replace the marital friendship is not.
I must not have been clear.

I think he means the words he used. Beyond friends, but without the sex.

No he did not. He means what I mean – one can have friends (friends …not be a “couple”…not some “romantic” relationship etc…rather*: friends*).

He clarified:


See above. Friendship ok. Quasi couple relationship, not ok. I think we are all on same page?

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