Honest opinions please


Hi Everyone,

I really need an honest opinon about this.

As posted earlier, my dad just passed away and I went back to my home town for the funeral. My brother and I have nt spoken for 8 years (since I needed to cut him out of my life because of all his emotional abuse). Obviously God has answered the prayers of those praying for me because I got through it with out too much drama. Nonetheless, I spent the whole time with him calling all the shots to avoid fights. I don't like to live without boundaries but considering it was my dad's funeral, I chose to offer it up as suffering to God.

Well, a bit of history, My mom is still living in the house sh bought in 1973 when I was 3 years old. In 1976, a woman bought the house beside ours for her daughter 'Mrs Jones'. Reason is, Mrs Jones husband left her with 4 kids so her mother was trying to help her out. One of the boys was my brother's age and one of the girls was my age. The 4 of us hung out all through out high school.

3 years ago, Mrs Jones's mother died leaving the house to her estate. The will said the estate was to be divided equally between all the children. Mrs Jones who lived in that house for 33 years (with very little income) asked her siblings (who all have a decent amount of money) if she could keep the house and they divide the rest of the assets between them. The brother who is the 'director' (or whatever you call the person who is responsible for carrying out the will) plainly told her 'NO'. Needless to say, my parents and I are upset with this man. Mrs Jones is a good woman and did not have an easy life bringing up 4 kids by herself. Not only did he not let her have the house, he immediately kicked her and her youngest son 'Ted' out. (he was 30 at the time)

When she asked to please stay in the house until it sold, her brother would not hear of it. Well..... years later the house did not sell. Poor Mrs Jones is stuck paying rent on an appartment and can not access her inheritance until the house sells.

My brother (who only thinks of himself) came up with the mst brilliant idea. He was going to ask Ted to buy the house. (The only reason I did not fall down is because I was sitting). I said to my brother, 'while Ted was living there, he cleared the snow for Dad in exchange for being able to borrow dad's snowmobile. I think we should give him Dad's snowmobile. But..... if he is going to buy a house, I think he should buy his grandmother's house so his mom can finally get her inheritance. I think it would hurt Mrs Jones as is there is no tomorrow if Ted buys our house.

My brother proceeded to say 'Mrs Jones would be lucky to get $20,000 of an inheritance. If we sell our house to Ted, we would not go through a realtor so he could save $7,000'. All I could think is Ted is on call and has to take a minimum wage job to make ends meet until he can become permanent. How cruel to expect him to buy a house when he could have other financial priorities.

Then my brother said 'It has been my experience most people want to do something they just need a little push to do it. I am sure Ted just needs a little push and he will be happy to buy the house'

In my mind I was translating 'My brother likes to boss everybody around and he justifies it by saying it is for the person's own good and everyone caves and does as he says because he is such a professional manipulator'

I bit my tongue and changed the topic. But the truth of the matter is I really think my brother is out of line. And I don't appreciate the way he is trying to get 2 very good people to buy our house because he wants my mom to sell the house ASAP. Not to mention, my mom does not want to sell the house quite yet.

Please tell me 1-) Am I wrong and my brother is totally reasonable

2-) if I am right how should I handle it



Keep your nose out of this.

You have enough problems that you already are creating for yourself.

Tell your friend to hire a lawyer if they don’t like how the will is being executed.


That is a terrible situation, but I honestly don’t think you have any ability to help.

I think the only thing you can do is advise them to get a lawyer, the “executor” of the will needs to follow it to the T.

Other than that, what can you do?


It's not your house....either of them. You and your brother should stay out of it.


[quote="Alix1912, post:4, topic:239787"]
It's not your house....either of them. You and your brother should stay out of it.


I would LOVE to stay out of it. However, my brother is NOT going to stay out of it and I want to stand up for the innocent victim. What happens to the house is not my concern. My brother's attitude is


Oh, your brother wants to sell your mother's house (where would she go) to Ted?

If Ted had the money, he should buy his grandmother's house.

My goodness. How incredibly selfish.

Tell your brother to mind his own business about BOTH of the houses.


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