Honor thy father and thy mother


#1

My 41 year old daughter claims she went to Confession and asked the priest if it was 'OK to lie to my parents'. Two priests told her it was OK since, at her age. What she does is none of her parents business. She admits she lies. :shrug:

The subject we talk about is why she is drunk. She claims she has not been drinking even though I can smell it on her breath, she has slurred speech and is staggering and even falling down. She's a single Mom with two children, 10 and 12.

Do priests give such replies?

Is it wrong for me as a parent to approach her on her drinking?

Also she comes back with the 'judge not' line. I think it's everyone's duty to not let someone drink and drive or to drink and have it affect the lives of their children.


#2

I don't know that a priest would have told her that it is ok to lie to people. If he did, then that was a poor thing to say to someone.

As far as the drinking problem goes, I would do everything in my power to keep someone from driving drunk, especially if she wants to drive with her kids. As a police officer, I have responded to fatal and serious injury crashes caused by drunk drivers. Driving when you're impaired is very, very serious and has a huge chance of killing someone. If she's with you and wanting to drive drunk and won't listen to reason, call the police. I guarantee they won't mind coming out to keep a drunk driver off the road who may go out and kill someone.


#3

[quote="bookerabear, post:1, topic:311921"]
My 41 year old daughter claims she went to Confession and asked the priest if it was 'OK to lie to my parents'. Two priests told her it was OK since, at her age. What she does is none of her parents business. She admits she lies. :shrug:

The subject we talk about is why she is drunk. She claims she has not been drinking even though I can smell it on her breath, she has slurred speech and is staggering and even falling down. She's a single Mom with two children, 10 and 12.

Do priests give such replies?

Is it wrong for me as a parent to approach her on her drinking?
Also she comes back with the 'judge not' line. I think it's everyone's duty to not let someone drink and drive or to drink and have it affect the lives of their children.

[/quote]

Adult children are not answerable to parents the way minor children are. To a certain extent they can tell their parents to butt out of their business. A priest might tell an adult child that is not necessary to explain one's actions to a parent. But that's a far cry from permission to actually LIE to a parent.

However anyone, relative, acquaintance, or stranger, can make it their business to protect themselves and others from those who are driving while drinking. And anyone can alert the authorities when children are in danger.

This is not a matter of your daughter failing to honor her parents. This goes beyond that. Your daughter is engaging in behavior that is unsafe to her children and to the general public. The mistake you are making is thinking that you should keep this between yourselves and your daughter. I think it's time to take it beyond the family. Be brave and contact the civil authorities the next time you see her get in car while drinking.


#4

[quote="SMHW, post:3, topic:311921"]
Adult children are not answerable to parents the way minor children are. To a certain extent they can tell their parents to butt out of their business. A priest might tell an adult child that is not necessary to explain one's actions to a parent. But that's a far cry from permission to actually LIE to a parent.

However anyone, relative, acquaintance, or stranger, can make it their business to protect themselves and others from those who are driving while drinking. And anyone can alert the authorities when children are in danger.

This is not a matter of your daughter failing to honor her parents. This goes beyond that. Your daughter is engaging in behavior that is unsafe to her children and to the general public. The mistake you are making is thinking that you should keep this between yourselves and your daughter. I think it's time to take it beyond the family. Be brave and contact the civil authorities the next time you see her get in car while drinking.

[/quote]

Thanks SMHW. I've been promising myself that I'd call the police if I ever knew she was driving drunk. We even warned her what we would do in that case but didn't know if I could follow through. Now I know I can.


#5

[quote="bookerabear, post:1, topic:311921"]
My 41 year old daughter claims she went to Confession and asked the priest if it was 'OK to lie to my parents'. Two priests told her it was OK since, at her age. What she does is none of her parents business. She admits she lies. :shrug:

The subject we talk about is why she is drunk. She claims she has not been drinking even though I can smell it on her breath, she has slurred speech and is staggering and even falling down. She's a single Mom with two children, 10 and 12.

Do priests give such replies?

Is it wrong for me as a parent to approach her on her drinking?

Also she comes back with the 'judge not' line. I think it's everyone's duty to not let someone drink and drive or to drink and have it affect the lives of their children.

[/quote]

It sounds like your daughter needs help.
Also if she admits she lies why would you give any credibility to what she says the priests told her. I do not believe they said that to her.


#6

It is never ok to lie, parent or not. There is certain information that others do not have the right to, to which we can respond with something like "I'm not comfortable speaking on that subject." Certainly this does not include drinking and driving.


#7

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