Hopeless/Worthless

I need advice

I don’t see any value in living anymore other than the obvious of not to sadden my family.

To start off I’m worthless, everyone assumes I’m just exaggerating but no it seems whomever I interact with I’m always the weaker/less skilled/dumber of the two. As if God made me a good-for-nothing just so people He actually cares about can feel better about themselves by comparison!

Whether for entertainment or actual work whenever I compete I’m the loser. It’s either keep my head down for the next 80 years or be the world’s loser so that people who don’t need the self-confidence boost can feel even better about themselves. Honestly that’s where it hurts the most, I can’t find pleasure in anything that has to compete with others. Sports? Pfft whether their athletes or out of shape I’ll still be the loser. Playing against others in video games? Well I hope you enjoyed beating me repeatedly because apparently that’s my calling in lfie…

Not only that but I’m a procrastinator, I have a paper due by midnight Friday and it hasn’t even been touched. This one is rather bad because I KNOW it’s all my fault, I can’t cry to anyone about this problem because IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT!

Then what does my future hold? A job teaching the next generation of liberal maggots history. A life of forced chastity due to this apparent aura I give that makes people sit a seat away from me if they can! Or maybe I’ll get married and then get divorced in a year! That way life can just torture me in a deeper manner

To top it off I have a migrane that makes me want to just take 20 aspirins and see if my liver will give up from it…

I’m a waste of life and I’m sick of it all…

Edit: It probably goes without saying, but being a life loser has also let wrath overtake my life. Now I cannot even lose with grace and all the winners of the world just infuriate me in an ungodly manner.

I know nothing about you except that you are articulate, young, humble, a good writer and under a lot of stress right now.

You may not realize it, but even those things add up to quite a lot.

With a migraine and a paper due, you have a lot on your immediate plate. My mantra whenever i am faced with a task that i do not look forward to is to “Do a little at a time.”. It doesn’t matter how good it is, just write something down. Then come back to it a while later and add a little more.

You will find that people do care about you if you give them the chance. If you are really feeling dispair, please see your student services or a priest or a councilor. These feelings are often intense but temporary - and if longer term can be treated.

may God blessings be with you.

No-one is hopeless or worthless in the sight of God. Blessed are the poor in spirit :slight_smile: Take care

Have you been told often that you are worthless?

God has given EVERYONE talents. Sure some of us only have oje while others have 10 but ultimately we know we are ALL created with a purpose and everything that is necessary to fulfil that purpise.

You mention the prospect of teaching history, so clearly you are good at something and no small thing at that!!

It sounds like you’re down on yourself for lack of athletic ability. On one hand you can try to improve by taking up at least on sport , or you can just accept that that is not your forte. We ALL have weaknesses.

How about you appearance? Are you depressed about being overweight or not “cutt” enough. That’s something else that can be worked on but if we let go can make us feel very down on ourselves.
A recipe forovercoming depression and lowpoints in our lives: workout (gym, run, dance, jump whatever increases your pulse), shower, say a rosary or go to mass or Adoration and then go help someone who is worse off than you. I promise it will make you change your outlook on life if you do it consistently!

First off I want to thank everyone who has posted or who will post in this thread. Already without asprin my headache is starting to settle down from just sitting in silence for a bit and letting out my stress.

Have you been told often that you are worthless?

No, parents are always saying how smart I am though they seem to know I’m lazy because there’s usually the added comment of “You can get B’s and low A’s without even trying ___, if you applied yourself you’d be able to get straight A’s like you wanted”

So I guess you can say there are expectations put on me and I’ve met them well enough to please my parents but not myself. Honestly for them they’re proud I can retain a 3.4 GPA, I’m the only one that feels that my own laziness is letting me down.

God has given EVERYONE talents. Sure some of us only have oje while others have 10 but ultimately we know we are ALL created with a purpose and everything that is necessary to fulfil that purpise.

Part of the problem is it seems I come from a family of supermen, all my male cousins on my mother’s side are athletic (two of them had scouts considering them for the American Major leagues!), smart (enough to do good in American Universities with english as a second language), have full tuition scholarship through sports, and actually have a social life. All I have is my moderate success in academics, no friends, low stamina, and 30,000 dollars in Student loans to look forward too…

I think what I’m about to say now is the biggest problem I’m facing. Like I said I hate losing, nothing seems to rile me up faster than losing to someone and whether they are humble or egotistical I still end up getting flared up with anger, envy, jealousy, and denial to the point of wanting to tear out my own hair.

In fact its partially why I don’t even have the will to exercise. I get all these feelings toward myself when I find myself only being able to sprint a few meters before my lungs collapse or knees break down. Same for other exercises.

You do not do your paper for you are entertaining with those silly thoughts.
What about being a loser? I played all sports and always lost and I do not feel I am a loser. Someone has got to lose so that someone wins!!!
Teaching is bad? I am a teacher and I enjoy it above all!
Marry? Wait till you find your Princess.
Your life is bad? No problem…
But now you think that you life is bad because it is bad and
you are miserable because life is bad because it is bad, and
you feel worthless because you feel miserable because life is bad because it is bad…
and so on…

Uriah,

You can’t change the way other people think, nor should you worry about doing so. You can only change yourself. If you can’t change yourself, change the way you think about yourself. If you go through life feeling down, it shows. People gravitate toward people that are cheerful despite what is, or is perceived to be, problems in their lives. I am not telling you to be phony cheerful, I am saying that you need to find the source of your unhappiness, and your negativity about yourself that causes you to continue to live this way, always depending on other people for your happiness or acceptance and blaming others for your feelings.

If you are in school, perhaps there is counseling available to you. Often, it is offered free of charge. You may be able to dig deeper into your self esteem issues there than what we can offer here.

Do you think that everyone goes around every day thinking how great they are? We all have days when we feel like “losers” and feel hopeless about things in our lives. (If you need to be reminded of that, go look at the prayer intentions forum.) You are too young to see that the things that concern you at this age are so small compared to what lies ahead. You need to work things out now so that you will be able to cope with them for the rest of your life.

Instead of accusing God of not caring for anyone but “winners” you should take a real look at your relationship with him. Spend some time in prayer and ask what his will for you is, instead of acting like you know how He thinks. It is obvious that you do not know what He has planned for you, since you think He only put you here to bolster others feelings. That is just not true.

“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
May God bless you and guide you.

Uriah,

You are in my prayers. Know that nobody is useless. We are all a creation of God who loves us and has a plan for us. Don’t let the stress of life cloud your view. One of my priests gave me a great gift to deal with life everyday. It may sound silly but give me 90 seconds, close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose and a big exhale through your mouth. Breathe in Jesus…exhale all the garbage…do it 40 times…while you clear you mind and know Jesus died for you and loves you. If you can find a parish with adoration/exposed eucharist do this with the Lord by your side.

As far as school work or any other issues… get help dealing with them. If it’s a paper due too soon, approached the teacher for an extension. If it doesn’t work do the best you can and move on and commit to doing better next time. I remember the stress and pressure of school and it can make you lose sight quickly. If needed seek out a guidance couselor or mentor to meet on a regular basis to help keep you on track.

For the migraines I cannot relate but would recommend seeking medical help if it occurs often. I don’t know if they are treatable or not but there must be medical options.

Whenever the pressure accumulates as it has please talk it out with someone rather than worry yourself into a frenzy. Reach out to us here, your priest, a friend, family or sometimes a stranger is easier to talk to. Look at your medical insurance card and call the 800# on it and ask for a referral to the EAP program…most medical plans have an EAP program that will refer you to free couselors to discuss various topics from family issues to financial problems to addictions…whatever it is you find a sympathetic ear to help you get through it. God Bless You.

Dear Op

First of all, you are not a LOSER! Don´t ever call yourself that name. You are a child of God and because of that you deserved to be loved. What you are feeling now is not something new. People go throught this sort of feeling “Nobody loves me and nobody cares once in a while” and the fast cure to this is that you look for a job or voluntary work where you SERVE PEOPLE. When you serve the people (through a charity events etc. , service jobs like working in a bank etc.) you forget about competition. THe focus won´t be in you, but the focus will be in how to make others feel happy. Making others feel happy will also make you feel happy.

How old are you? Are you in college? Continue praying to God about your problem.

I think that many of us have felt that way from time to time.

However, God doesn’t make mistakes or errors so you cannot be one.

I will pray for you.

Bryan

Uriah,

Do not let things get you down. As I read your post I was impressed with how well you can write and express yourself, and also having a 3.4 gpa is very impressive. I have two thoughts:

Uriah,

oops - will try to finish

Do not let things get you down. As I read your post I was impressed with how well you can write and express yourself, and also having a 3.4 gpa is very impressive. I have two thoughts:

  1. Do not give a rats-butt if someone can do something better than you - there will always be someone who can do better - the best thing you can do is try and do better than you did the last time. Always try to better yourself - never - I mean never try to compare yourself to anyone else, unless it is Jesus. Even then none of us will ever match up to Him but we can try and live as He did by loving our neighbors and ourselves.

  2. Since you do write very well and I am not sure of your major - have you thought of writing professionally?

Again, do not be hard on yourself. I will not lie, there will be times and things that you fail at, we all have and we will continue to do – I know as I am at the top of the list for things failed at . But the thing to remember is that God will always be there for you. As for your student dept in a few years that will be paid off. As for finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with – no need to rush that you will find them or it may be that they find you.

Regardless of how bad you think things are, they do and will get better. Just be yourself and do not worry what others are doing or like, for they maybe looking at you thinking “why am I not as smart as he is?”

God Bless and Keep you.

Winter.

Like you, I have a problem with procrastination. I think if you can attack this trait, it will help with most of your other feelings. The trick that helps me most is a simple written list. Writing down what you need to do with a deadline and checking thing off gives me a little mental boost. Once it’s written, you don’t have to stress about remembering it.
Try this…will pray for you.

I am not telling you to be phony cheerful, I am saying that you need to find the source of your unhappiness, and your negativity about yourself that causes you to continue to live this way, always depending on other people for your happiness or acceptance and blaming others for your feelings.

The frightening thing about this is, deep down I don’t know if I want to cure this problem and actually find myself happy with my life. The main reason for this logic for me is that I feel I am so lazy that getting energy out of having a happy attitude would be wasted on me. That if I don’t interact with others or help them in anyway then it’s better to just be in a state of what feels like depression so that I can keep content in my own laziness.

Do you think that everyone goes around every day thinking how great they are?

No, but my problem is the opposite. It’s a rarity for me to find a day that I can think about how great I am. But to answer the actual question, I think considering how much we compete with one another that the idea that “I’m better than that person I just surpassed” pops up in people’s heads at least sub-consiously. Even the humble will at least acknowledge “I won”.

SERVE PEOPLE. When you serve the people (through a charity events etc. , service jobs like working in a bank etc.) you forget about competition.

I hear this advice a lot, the problem is I mismanage my time so terribly that I barely seem to have enough to retain my own mediocre life. Plus I feel I’ve tainted my own opinion on the downtrotted too far now. Inside I think “those who have nothing thank you and tell you ‘God bless you’ only because you’re serving them.”

Do not give a rats-butt if someone can do something better than you

But what’s a good way to do this? I mean I’ll be honest, I enjoy actually succeeding probably more than I should since its so rare for me to actual be better than someone else so I tend to get a bigger ego boost inside from it. It seems like its a two sided coin, that I can’t enjoy victory without feeling self-loating in defeat.

have you thought of writing professionally

Yes, writing a Novel is something of a dream of mine. Of course even there I constantly think “all the good ideas have been done and redone, any idea I come up with is uncreative”

I’m guessing through all my continued answers here I’m just making myself out to be a more horrible person. Maybe I should delete the thread before someone gets upset that I didn’t suddenly become happy with worthless life.

Dear Uriah, I thought some time about if I should answer you or not but I feel I must.
I have been where you are: severe depression, low selfesteem, selfloathing, crippling lazyness and the mother of all migraines. In varying degrees I still have to struggle with all of this.
So please don’t be offended at what I’m going to say to you:
Stop whining, stop pitying yourself and take action!
The amount of selfloathing you show is actually a form of pride: if you can not be special in a good way, at least you’re special in a bad way. That has to stop!

The next time you’re out of that darkness for a while try to take a realistic look at yourself. This should be twofold:
1.: Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. You may only add a weakness if you first added a strength! Even if you think it is trivial, add it! There are times when the only thing I can come up with is that I have a lot of gallows humour!

2.: Try to look at yourself through the eyes of God. Admit that you are small and helpless. Nothing of that over the top stuff that drags you down. You are small and helpless. Compared to God we all are. We are like newborn children. We can not walk, talk or work. We cry, sleep, eat and soil our diapers, that’s all we do. But still He loves us, we are precious and worthy!

God doesn’t expect much of us, just that wee keep His commandments as good as we can and trust that He loves us enough to forgive our sins, that we be as holy as we can and make an effort to become holier every day.

You can do it, but it takes time and dedication and patience and humility and trust.
It’s hard but things will change. Very, very slowly but they will change!
Are you up for that change or would you rather stay in that dark place and pity yourself?

You know, you either have mild to moderate depression, or I’m an elephant.

And I’m not an elephant.

I just recognize that attitude, but I think you should get a physical from a doctor and tell him about your emotional state. If you are depressed, and it’s chronic, a lot of what you think are character defects are due to low amounts of hormones in your brain. You’d be surprised what might clear up with the right medications. That self-defeating “There’s no point to anything” at least can be addressed.

I often wonder how awful it must be to be normal in a family of intellectual or athletic “supermen” as you term it. To know that you are always going to be the family “failure” even if you accomplish a lot…it would be a difficult cross to bear. You’d always be comparing yourself and coming up short. Or, I would be.

I think the poster before me has a lot of good points. Yes, being depressed can be a sort of spiritual pride. And procrastination can be a twisted form of perfectionism, “If I can’t do it perfectly, I just won’t do it.” Also if you put things off, you 1) get motivated when it’s a true emergency and/or 2) get to beat up on yourself some more as you continue to put things off.

Get an evaluation, OK? Doctors know how to help, and if you need counseling, that will help you too. Eventually you need to reach a state of gratitude for what God has created in you, and look to Him for fulfillment of your own potential.

Spend some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Sitting quietly and letting Jesus fill your heart helps most of us recognize what is truth and what is important in our lives.

God bless you.

So please don’t be offended at what I’m going to say to you:

No offense taken at all, in fact I would say you put to words what I’ve been trying describe this entire time. Specifically “if you can not be special in a good way, at least you’re special in a bad way.” and I do admit it’s something from Pride.

As for what you recommended, I’ll do what you said as I think that this idea will help level out the feelings I get. Thank you for being firm but not rude about getting the truth out.

I just recognize that attitude, but I think you should get a physical from a doctor and tell him about your emotional state. If you are depressed, and it’s chronic, a lot of what you think are character defects are due to low amounts of hormones in your brain. You’d be surprised what might clear up with the right medications. That self-defeating “There’s no point to anything” at least can be addressed.

I am starting to think that I should see a doctor about this. However I don’t want to involve my parents and since I’m 20 I don’t really need too. However the problem now is I don’t really have an income to pay for say anti-depressants if a doctor ends up prescribing them too me. I mean I can take out an extra 1000 in student loans and use that to pay for medication but I’m not entirely sure.

Also when you say doctor, does that mean I can just go to the Universities medical center and tell them “I think I may have depression can I get checked out for it?”

Also

And procrastination can be a twisted form of perfectionism, “If I can’t do it perfectly, I just won’t do it.” Also if you put things off, you 1) get motivated when it’s a true emergency and/or 2) get to beat up on yourself some more as you continue to put things off.

I think this is true also. Just yesterday I turned in a paper online 15 minutes before it was due, working on it with the last couple hours I had when we had a week to work on the paper. Yet when I turned it in I got a sense of gratification from being able to say, “Yeah I did it and it’ll probably be at least a B grade!” and of course the opposite of being allowed to beat myself up if I failed to meet the deadline.

Yes, you can go to the university clinic and ask to be evaluated. I am sure it is a common problem at your school, it is in most universities. You may be covered partially under the university - ask them about help if they prescribe medications. Not all antidepressants are expensive. There are some that have been around for years that are quite cheap, because there is a generic form. You are a student and may be eligible for assistance - just ask.

Another possibility is ADD - some of your symptoms sound quite familiar to me as the mom of a son with ADHD. Sometimes ADHD folks need that extra adrenaline from a very tight deadline, in order to focus and stay on task. So you might do some reading on line about that. There’s a quiz I took the other day, hang on…

ADD Quiz

There it is. It’s only a start - if you turn out to have a lot of these symptoms, it means you need further evaluation, not that you should just start taking stimulants.

And don’t forget - adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and frequent Mass with Eucharist!

:slight_smile:

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