Okay, I am 45 years old and have been told by my GYN doctor that I am in perimenopause for I have told her of my symptoms of mood swings. I saw a new GYN this past year and not my usual. I asked her if she would do blood test to check my hormones and she said it was not necessary that it was unbalance. So then I asked what can I do for I am driving my husband crazying and I don’t like who I become during that time. I get really angry at the things that usually don’t bother me. I yell at my husband and my daughter. Then I go into deep depression and into the “I don’t care mood.” I don’t cook or care to homeschool my daughter. I will start to homeschool her, but if she argues with me and fights me, I get so angry, that I tell her to do her work on her own and I withdraw. I stay withdrawn from her and my husband the rest of the day. Sometimes I cry. I feel I am an emotional mess. ( By the way, the doctor’s solution is BCP, whichI won’t take.) My husband doesn’t know what is wrong and blames himself. See, he has a bad temper and the first years of our marriage did not treat me well verbally and so now when I get angry, he feels I learned it from him and he has had an epiphany recently and wants to change in 2011 and apologized for treating us badly and wants to make up for those years. I think he really means it. He was crying and very upset when I was upset and blamed himself. Yes, my anger is a little out of control at times. I get so angry I cuss. I never would have done that before I married him for I never cussed. Like my husband said when I first married him I was a very spiritual person and I am not anymore. He blames himself for that change in me. I told him that I am my own person and yes, I have learned to defend myself from his anger unfortunately throughout the years and I have never giveup on him for I saw good in him, but that something deep down in me is the source of my anger.
What I want to know is if this anger, depression and all these emotions I am feeling hormonal and usual for my age or if this from all the years of living with a difficult husband who has a temper? So any women out there who has gone through menopause or perimenopause, please help me. I have talked to some of my other homeschool moms and they say that they “become bears” certain times of the months and their husbands and kids know to stay away from them, but they say they are able to control their anger. I can’t control mine sometime. I really really get angry. I don’t throw things or hit things, but just yell and feel really angry inside my body. I can’t explain it in words. I hope someone understands. HELP!!!