[quote=Fidelia][QUOTEOriginally Posted by ack
I am a recent college graduate, and having to leave the computer at night would have been impossible. Nowadays, you need a computer to do homework for almost every course (online readings, online homework submissions, etc.) Sometimes, homework takes much longer than you think it will, and it just isn’t possible to ensure that all homework will be done by a certain time in the evening.
[/QUOTE]This is absolutely true and these things need to be unerstood by those parents. I am still wondering if they actually went to college themselves.
The point is not whether the parents went to college (we say Uni) because that is irrelevant.
At 20, this young man should be accepting responsibility for his actions and should have the maturity to deal with situations like this.
Instead, he is behaving like a sneaky kid. I was taught that if I wanted to be treated like an adult, I had to first start behaving like an adult. My children were taught the same lesson.
Now is where it gets tough, and believe me, I invented tough love long before it became popular…
[quote=Fidelia]But the situation is not allowing for any choice at all. Either the student is helped through college by family, or he is completely on his own and who knows when or how he will get through college, and could very well end up living at home at 30 still paying off his bills.
I would expect my kids to have left home lonnnnng before they turned 30! The youngest is still with us and she is almost 18. I’m getting ready to push her out of the nest.
The more help he is given now the sooner he is an independent and productive member of society. It is the parents responsibility to try to insure that this can happen.
My eldest made it through 3 years of a double degree. He chucked in the last year because he found what he wanted to do with his life and a degree wouldn’t have made any difference. He is an international business consultant with a major Australasian bank, fast-tracked for success by the heirarchy because of his ability, not his academic qualifications.
I have 6 kids ranging from 30 to 17. At least 4 have IQs that come in + or - the genius range. The one with the highest IQ (No #3) was on track to become a heart surgeon when, following an accident, he chucked away years of a life goal and works in a timber mill while pursuing art. His siblings are in awe of his talent as well as his laid-back attitude to life. Oh yes, he is raising a family and despises material possessions just for the sake of possessing things.
My brother-in-law thinks my eldest daughter is wasting her life because she has chosen to be a SAHM. I left him in no doubt how proud of her I was because she had chosen the better path… family before money.
My youngest dropped out of school at 16 (15 really because she was truant so often). Like the rest of my kids she is a “gifted underachiever”. This is a relatively new label being used but it describes both my husband and myself.
It is people who are really, really intelligent in some ways, but who don’t fit into the “system” easily. Square pegs who don’t fit in round holes. Many of these go on to be entrepreneurs - and make millions, or invent light bulbs.
Here’s where it gets well nigh impossiblle!
In today’s world, college is much more necessary than a generation ago. It is not some arbitrary decision the student made to be able to live at home longer. It is a necessity for most careers, especially ones that would allow a person to live comfortably. As well as enter into a marriage and begin a family.
Maybe it is different in the USA.