How and when did you know he / she was "The One"


#1

How and when did you know he / she was “The One”?


#2

I knew about a month into our relationship. How did I know? It was a single moment when I looked at her and I just knew. There wasn't a beam of sunlight or anything, I just flat out knew. We have been married for 2 1/2 years and have been through just about everything we possibly could have been through, and it's been worth every minute of it.


#3

My husband and I knew within a couple of months. I just could not imagine ever being with anyone else, and he said he knew when he realized he wanted me to have his children.


#4

This is just my opinion on it, but I'm not entirely convinced by the notion of "the one." I think that over the course of our lifetimes we'll meet many people that we could make a marriage work with. I know for myself that I already know of a couple of these people. It's just a matter of which one of "the ones" comes along at the right time in your life. If there was really only "the one" what happens if they're born on another continent? How do you explain widows that fall in love and marry again? Wouldn't they both be "the one" then?

I think that you'll know when it's right to marry someone when after prayerful consideration, long discussions about what a future life together would look like (does anyone stay home with the kids? Where will you live together? What's our policy on religion?) and finding no major issues then you can safely take the next step towards marriage. That could happen after 2 decades, 2 years, 2 months or even 2 weeks if you like...


#5

She bought me a 30-30 rifle for Valentines Day.


#6

First Date. No lie.


#7

My best friend gave me a (chaste) hug after we performed in a college wind ensemble concert, and I felt like I was home. Our first date was the next day. And then... we dated for 3.5 years and have been married for 9.

(There was obviously more to it. Including the conversations as outlined above, just not in such a methodical order. I think I might have married him in a month if we had been older.)


#8

I had a list of attributes that I looked for in a spouse. When I met my future husband, I discovered those attributes within myself.


#9

Probably when I first laid eyes on him...but I didn't fall in love until we had dated for about 2 months. I just knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and have his children.
We've been married for 25 wonderful years.
It isn't always blinding light, but don't get married until you are absolutely, totally in love. It's a fantastic feeling (especially when based upon friendship and mutual goals).


#10

There are many things that I love about my DH, but I knew for sure I wanted to marry him when we had been dating for several months and he mentioned that he was already saving for his future kids' college funds. What a guy. :D


#11

When her father showed up at my front door with a shotgun.

(Ju-u-u-u-ust kidding :p )

DaveBj


#12

[quote="AdriannaJean, post:4, topic:220611"]
This is just my opinion on it, but I'm not entirely convinced by the notion of "the one." I think that over the course of our lifetimes we'll meet many people that we could make a marriage work with. I know for myself that I already know of a couple of these people. It's just a matter of which one of "the ones" comes along at the right time in your life. If there was really only "the one" what happens if they're born on another continent? How do you explain widows that fall in love and marry again? Wouldn't they both be "the one" then?

[/quote]

I wholeheartedly agree with this. The priest assigned to the church where all the college students went even did a homily on this.

Having said that, I knew my wife was one of "the ones" within a couple of dates.


#13

It only took a couple of dates to realize she was the kindest, most caring, person I had ever met in my 15 years of life. Plus the attraction to each other was electric. We've been married 38 years, and she's still the kindest, caring, most loving person I've ever known in my now 60 years; she's my life compass, the silver in my dark cloud, the half full to my half empty glass, the perfect partner on the other end of the teeter-totter of life.


#14

You know he/she is the/a one when you **make the decision **that she is the one.

In other words, it is your mindset that plays a huge role in this. A person is far more likely to be a possible husband or wife when **you yourself **are ready to marry and ready to be committed to someone for the rest of your life.

If you have any doubts about whether someone is "the one", then chances are either:
1) he/she is not, or
2) you are not ready for a lifelong commitment.

I just say this because in my own life I agonised over whether 2 long terms girlfriends (at different times! ;) ) I had were the one, and I later realised that they might have been, but I was actually just not ready for a commitment at that time... The determination of whether someone is a potential life partner often lies with you yourself...

I am now extremely happily married with a young baby - very glad I waited until I was absolutely ready to be married...

If in doubt, don't commit...

God bless

Patrick


#15

[quote="Patrick_Cox, post:14, topic:220611"]
You know he/she is the/a one when you **make the decision **that she is the one.

[/quote]

Yes, this.

I thought my husband was The One about six months into dating--in hindsight that was just plain silly. The day I married him, he became The One (but it took me a few years to grasp this concept---that's another story for another day!)


#16

I knew on the first date. :D It was so wonderful it lasted 5 hours and only ended because my husband had to go do something at Church. I could have easily talked to him for much, much longer! We were paired up by eHarmony and our personalities and interests fit together instantly like puzzle pieces. I hate to hear people mocking eHarmony and doubting they really match people as well as they say they do - we're living proof that it works just like it should!


#17

[quote="Augusta_Sans, post:15, topic:220611"]
Yes, this.

I thought my husband was The One about six months into dating--in hindsight that was just plain silly. The day I married him, he became The One (but it took me a few years to grasp this concept---that's another story for another day!)

[/quote]

The marriage certificate is definitely more than a piece of paper.
The wedding is only the beginning. "Becoming one" takes a lifetime.

[quote="Patrick_Cox, post:14, topic:220611"]
You know he/she is the/a one when you **make the decision **that she is the one.

In other words, it is your mindset that plays a huge role in this. A person is far more likely to be a possible husband or wife when **you yourself **are ready to marry and ready to be committed to someone for the rest of your life.

If you have any doubts about whether someone is "the one", then chances are either:
1) he/she is not, or
2) you are not ready for a lifelong commitment.

I just say this because in my own life I agonized over whether 2 long terms girlfriends (at different times! ;) ) I had were the one, and I later realized that they might have been, but I was actually just not ready for a commitment at that time... The determination of whether someone is a potential life partner often lies with you yourself...

I am now extremely happily married with a young baby - very glad I waited until I was absolutely ready to be married...

If in doubt, don't commit...

God bless

Patrick

[/quote]

I agree. It is a decision of both heart and mind, not one to rushed into.
Years ago, I read how a priest determined if a couple were ready. He asked them if they had ever fought. If the answer was no, he sent them home telling them not to return until after their first argument.
Actually, it was only after an argument that I realized that I did love the man who would become my husband. Love is more than a feeling. It is very much an act of the will.
Are you willing to love the person you marry, not simply marry the person you love?


#18

DH and were 15 when we met.

I remember telling a girlfriend about this boy that I met... and that I was going to marry him. We even waited to marry until after college. I didn't want to make a childhood mistake. But we just stuck...:shrug:

That was about 25 years ago... so far so good.


#19

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