I will not pretend to know what you are dealing with, as I have been blessed with a husband without any real emotional/mental problems and who is very easy to please. God bless you in these difficult times.
None of these may be helpful to you, but here are some of the ways in which I try to make my husband feel loved:
1)Flirting, sometimes innocent, sometimes racy. He loves both. It makes him feel desirable.
2)Being proud of him and expressing that pride, both verbally and in my facial expressions.
3)Expressing gratitude to him for all the hard work he has done for our family. I try to express this gratitude for both the big things “I want you to know how grateful I am to have a husband who takes such good care of his family” and the little ones “Honey, thanks so much for cleaning up the kitchen tonight”
4)Dressing up for him, wearing decent-looking clothes, making sure my hair and makeup look good. I have six kids, so I don’t have time—or interest!–to spend hours on such things, but I do try to look decent every day. I think he appreciates that I care enough about him to try to look my best.
5)Sharing my burdens and difficulties with him, asking his advice, and letting him know how much I respect his input.
6)Being his friend and frequently pointing out to him how glad I am to have him for a best friend.
7)Letting him know he is a priority in my life by making time to spend with him: cuddling by the fireside, hot bubble baths with glasses of wine, etc.
These are some expressions of my love that my husband appreciates.