We have all heard stories about women going on strike and not doing the laundry, witholding intimacy, etc. until they were treated better. But how can a husband/breadwinner go on strike short of denying basic essentials or risk ruining their own credit rating?
Well, if you really want to strike, do this-
1-Totally ignore your wife and children. When you come home, immediately hit the martinis-play video games jump online. When they attepmt to engage you in conversation, snap at them, then order your wife to get you another drink and tell your children to go away.
2-Work all the time. And I mean all the time! Around the clock! Let your children go to plays, sporting events, church all by themself. When your wife calls you and wonders where you are, tell her your busy making money, and make her feel guilty for calling you. Work so hard that your children really think your some dude who goes home to shower instead of their dad.
In all seriousness, if your so upset you need plan a strike-talk to your wife.
Dont mean to be cruel. It was just kind of an off question. I’ve never heard of this before!
I am not going to deny that there probably are some wife’s who ‘Go on strike’ but between you and me does it ever earn the genuine respect of their husband? Just curious but why do you want to go on strike?
If the wife has only been minimally contributing to the household for years, racking up the credit cards, loosing / not paying bills, spending sprees, etc.
Even if the wife hasn’t been acting the best I still don’t think a strike is the way to go. I think there’s bigger issues than that. You need to communicate.
Being quiet and acting that way is only going to make the relationship suffer. I highly doubt you’re going to get the results you want. If she already doesn’t respect the relationship and the work you do, then going the route of ignoring her or whatever is only going to make her resent you.
Wow. If it is this bad-you need to call the credit card companies and take her name off the cards. Maybe for her own good as well as yours!
I’m sorry man-I didn’t mean to be rude with my first comment. I’m single…don’t have this problem.
Sorry for the problems bro.
*Don’t go on strike …talk to your wife. That’s where the problem lies, you need to communicate through this problem. A strike won’t solve it, it will only make determined feet more planted. It isn’t easy to communicate difficult issues sometimes, but you HAVE to…to grow and make things better. Strikes only make things worse. And besides, she’s not your employer and you’re a disgruntled employee…lol So, maybe go out for a nice dinner, and bridge the topic with her. Dinner out takes defenses down. *
Talking has not worked nor has counceling.
Unfortunately I can’t stop her from getting credit cards on her own and I am worried that changing bank accounts will start things down the slippery slope to legal separation, divorce, loose kids, etc.
You could cancel her credit cards and start depositing your paycheck into an account she doesn’t have access to.
Of course if you did that you’d be running the risk of her realizing that her financial life would be better divorced and getting alimony/child support payments from you.
What exactly do you want her to do that she isn’t doing? Do you want her to get a job? Does she have a shopping addiction?
I have tried talking for years and counceling but she won’t follow the coucelors advice and does not react normally to discussions for instance if I question an excessive toy purchase her counter is “aren’t the kids allowed to have toys.” I make a fair salary and if we live within a budget we can live comfortably but we have to keep with in our budget.
[quote="flyingfish, post:10, topic:188512"]
You could cancel her credit cards and start depositing your paycheck into an account she doesn't have access to.
Of course if you did that you'd be running the risk of her realizing that her financial life would be better divorced and getting alimony/child support payments from you.
What exactly do you want her to do that she isn't doing? Do you want her to get a job? Does she have a shopping addiction?
I don't want to excalate I do want to neutralize the situation.
I can't cancel her cards.
Rerouting my pay check will lead to the reprocussions you mentioned.
I do want her to either pick up the slack or stop complaining when I am not the breadwinner and home keeper and am not earning enough to cover her bills.
She is a compulsive shopper buying things that go waste or to good will.
She refuses to go.
Does she objectively spend a lot? Or do you also go to the other extreme and want to keep track of every cent? Are you in financial trouble because of her spending?
I had to take my husband’s name off the checking account, off the checks, and he gets an allowance. I had to do this because he has a gambling addiction, and he’s actually happy I did it. We could have lost our home.
I sympathize with you. You might consider going to a support group for people married to people with addictions – the one for gamblers, for instance. They might be able to support you as you work through this.
You are to be admired for trying to keep your marriage together. But if she is unwilling to even acknowledge that there’s a problem, you might be better off taking control of the finances and letting the chips fall where they may.
She might even appreciate it in the long run.
I think something to maybe consider royal, is that your wife might seek shopping for comfort. Maybe something is deeply troubling her, and she finds a ‘‘high’’ in shopping. An escape in it. I could relate to her years ago. Many women go through this, instead of dealing with the issues at hand, they shop. Like someone who has a drink, she goes shopping. I think society jokes about it…’‘when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.’’ But, it is not a joke when your credit cards are out of whack, and you are living it. Maybe ask her if something is deeply wrong…if she finds shopping to be a comfort of sorts…and see if that is more the root of the issue? Prayers for you…it’s tough when someone has an out of control spending habit and you’re trying to stay on course with a budget. I’d advise using a different word than budget…I dislike the word, myself. lol What would be another word for budget? :hmmm:
It is when things started showing up on my credit report, I have found bills with late fees, and I recently got a call about late payments. We are not in trouble because of bonuses, overtime, and raiding long term savings.
I do tend to track every cent to create a budget and calculate the long term reprocussions of the budget but it isn’t an issue of exceeding a planned budget it is the exceding the bank account.
I am sure there is some underlying problem but she has been to councelors and doctors and it all boiled down to an intent to change or lack there of. That I why I was thinking that something like a strike might be enough of a significantly emotional event to cause a change in behavior.
budget= money in bank account:D
At times I wonder if it is just out of pure boredom. eg nothing to do so might as well go to the store as an excuse to get out of the house.