How can I befriend/support my Parish Pastors and/or Religious?


This is more of a question for Pastors, Deacons and their families I’m guessing. My family really likes our Parish Pastors and Deacons, and we would like to get to know them better. My husband’s parents were friends with many of the Priests as he grew up, and they still do things with the retired priests that are still alive. I’d love to have something similar for my family.

However, I know that Priests are terribly overwhelmed by their workload. We’d really like to extend a hand of friendship that wouldn’t feel like another obligation. Would inviting them over or out to dinner be something restful and relaxing, or a burden? We wouldn’t want them to feel like they were there in any sort of “on the job” way. Just your normal, awkward meet and greet. lol

Thoughts, comments or ideas?

(Obviously we aren’t looking to force them into any unwanted friendships.)


Most priests I know would enjoy a family dinner. My dad got to know our favorite pastor by playing racket ball. Priests are very busy, but an invitation well in advance will let them plan their time.



Also, volunteer! Ask if they have a project that’s short handed. They’ll let you know how you can help and they will appreciate your work.


It’s wonderful to invite your parish clergy over for dinner! We have ours over regularly, sometimes just one or the other, sometimes both at the same time. Growing up, my parents had our parish priest over several times a month!

Invite them in person, saying that you will email with some options for dates, and give a few weeks worth of dates that you are available. They are very busy and usually schedule pretty well in advance - at least in my experience. For the first time, it may be best to invite the pastor and the vicar at the same time, though their schedules may not accommodate that, it is still a nice gesture. Keep in mind that many things can happen in a priest’s week, and do not be offended if they have to cancel/reschedule/etc.

Keep it pretty simple as most priests enjoy a casual, family setting, nothing fancy. For us, I have always found avoiding a lot of “shop talk” while they are over is best, and actually get to know them personally.



Agree. Priests enjoy a home cooked meal & the family’s company. Same with the Deacons & their wives if they’re married.


Priests are always “on the job” so to speak but are grateful for time which they can spend just relaxing with people who don’t expect anything of them or for them to be anyone or anything other than who they are as a person (and not just as a priest). dinner is always appreciated - whether at home or out - as is offers of assistance. Besides that though, given the at Christmas is the second-busiest time of the year for priests (next to Easter) a nice Christmas present would also be an idea.


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