Hello everyone. I have a boyfriend whose name is David. He is a Catholic but not a practicing Catholic. He has only been to confession once and that was before his confirmation I believe. I have asked him if he’d go to church with me and he said yes but he does not want to go to confession. He claims that he has not done anything seriously wrong that he needs to confess. I don’t think he realizes that sins such as missing Sunday Mass are mortal sins and should be confessed. What can I do to make him want to go to confession other than to pray for him? I prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet for him last night.
Force him to listen to Fr. Larry Richard’s talk “Confession” available for free here:
If that doesn’t persuade him, nothing will.
Hmm thank you. I will try to get him to listen to it.
EDIT: Unfortunately they require $1 donation for the CD. I don’t have a credit card or a debit card to use to make the donation so I can’t get the CD. Can I download the talk online and burn it to a CD of my own?
Ask him what he’s afraid of, and don’t take any evasive answers. IMO, nearly every objection to confession is based, down deep, on fear.
I will try that. However, I think the primary problem is that he honestly doesn’t believe he’s in a state of mortal sin. I don’t even know if he knows what mortal sin is. He has agreed to go with me to RCIA next year. I think that is great! I invited him to go because I figured he would learn a lot in it.
Then it should be no big deal for him to go to confession just because you asked him, right? People don’t resist things that are no big deal to them.
I don’t know. I think that perhaps he does fear confession too.
If you call the Mary Foundation, and explain the situation, they may send you the CD anyway.
I might try that.
you stop trying. It is not the job of one adult to force or coerce another adult into participating in the sacraments. You model Catholic behavior, action and attitude in your own life, and don’t make decisions for other people.
Umm, I wasn’t going to force or coerce him into doing anything. I just wanted to convince him to do it on his own.
the right answer.
one thing you could try, and i usually do this…
pray to the Holy Ghost to move his heart and ask your Guardian Angel to talk to his and put that whisper in his ear.
Today is the Feast of Guardian Angels… and they are here for a purpose. let them serve it.
I wouldn’t try to force him because ultimately you can’t.
However, perhaps the next time you go to confession you could talk to your boyfriend about it. Talk from your heart – how much at peace you feel knowing that your sins are forgiven or how kind and understanding the priest was or how much closer you feel to Jesus even though all you had to confess were venial sins.
I wouldn’t lay it on thick and I wouldn’t say anything that was beyond what I experienced, but a simple comment here and there may get him thinking in the right direction.
And then you pray.
I forced myself to go to confession because i saw a list of mortal sins and became incredibly scared (i didn’t know what a mortal sin was before). Maybe you could show him one?