How can I encourage my non catholic husband to help in bringing up our baby in the catholic faith?


#1

Our first baby is due just before Christmas, and we are both excited about our imminent arrival!

I converted just four years ago, but have always had a faith, I was just looking for a pathway before. My DH was not brought up within any faith, and says he doesn’t really believe in anything, but occasionally comes out with comments that make me hope that deep down there is a small part of him that does, but being a blokey bloke, maybe wouldnt “admit” this (typical english lad!)

He is however perfectly happy for our baby to be baptised and brought up within the Church, and is pretty supportive of me in this. (None of his family are catholics).

I (subtly) try and encourage him, but know if I push too much, he will take several steps backwards! He has agreed to attend baptism classes (I said that he could just sit and listen, but that he needed to know what was expected, and the format of the service), and hopefully may have persuaded him to come to church to help me with the baby now and again. I am really hoping that if he comes, he may hear something that will strike a chord.

I know I cant make him have a faith in God, but as I love him so much, I really want him to, for his own sake, but also for the benefit of our little family. I love to see mum, dad and children at mass, sharing their faith, and hope that one day we will be like that as well.

He is a really good, kind person, and I think he has agreed to these things because he wants to please me, but other than praying for him to find God, is there anything else I can do?

Or should I do anything other than pray? I know it is up to him to make his own choices, but I would not be showing my love for him if I was not concerned about his faith - it may be that he has deep down, and just does not feel comfortable discussing this, even after several years of marriage! Maybe assuming he has not because of outward appearances, I am judging him, and should not be! Only he and God know what is in his heart after all!

I am really lucky, he is so supportive of my faith, and my wish to bring our child up in the Church, I just really want to share this with him.

Any suggestions gratefully received!


#2

It sounds to me that you are doing really well already.


#3

Live the faith. After praying the Rosary for him, every day, just live the faith. St. Francis teaches us, “Evangelize always, and when necessary use words”. Let him “see” your faith - especially with his family, who may make it very hard. Love, forgiveness, and humility made visible to him through your life will help your prayers bring him home.
P.S. Make a lot of Rosaries to the Souls of Purgatory requesting , when released by the merits of your rosary, they fly into heaven and petition the throne of GOD, day and night, for the conversion of your husband.
GOD loves the souls of purgatory who honor those who helped them.


#4

[quote="Suzle, post:1, topic:218178"]
Our first baby is due just before Christmas, and we are both excited about our imminent arrival!

I converted just four years ago, but have always had a faith, I was just looking for a pathway before. My DH was not brought up within any faith, and says he doesn't really believe in anything, but occasionally comes out with comments that make me hope that deep down there is a small part of him that does, but being a blokey bloke, maybe wouldnt "admit" this (typical english lad!)

He is however perfectly happy for our baby to be baptised and brought up within the Church, and is pretty supportive of me in this. (None of his family are catholics).

I (subtly) try and encourage him, but know if I push too much, he will take several steps backwards! He has agreed to attend baptism classes (I said that he could just sit and listen, but that he needed to know what was expected, and the format of the service), and hopefully may have persuaded him to come to church to help me with the baby now and again. I am really hoping that if he comes, he may hear something that will strike a chord.

I know I cant make him have a faith in God, but as I love him so much, I really want him to, for his own sake, but also for the benefit of our little family. I love to see mum, dad and children at mass, sharing their faith, and hope that one day we will be like that as well.

He is a really good, kind person, and I think he has agreed to these things because he wants to please me, but other than praying for him to find God, is there anything else I can do?

Or should I do anything other than pray? I know it is up to him to make his own choices, but I would not be showing my love for him if I was not concerned about his faith - it may be that he has deep down, and just does not feel comfortable discussing this, even after several years of marriage! Maybe assuming he has not because of outward appearances, I am judging him, and should not be! Only he and God know what is in his heart after all!

I am really lucky, he is so supportive of my faith, and my wish to bring our child up in the Church, I just really want to share this with him.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

[/quote]

take it slowly and don't push too much. Encourage him to go on the "fun" days, when the Mass is at its best. Pray, and pray, and pray! He may take the class for your baby but find that he wants to be part of what his child learns over time. If he has any musical talent, the smaller village churches can always use help in the choir. If any other talents, he can put them to use on the grounds, setting up for Mass, etc. Try to stay positive, pray, and pray some more!

And smile a lot!!! :) Show the joy of the Lord to your husband!!

:getholy::gopray2::signofcross:


#5

I think when he sees you and your child getting to share all the "milestones" together eventually he will want to jump in - just be patient and let God work - I agree with the PP about inviting him to the fun days. Also make sure you thank him when he does come.


#6

I'm in a similiar boat as you but I was Catholic when I married. So, we have to get our marriage blessed.

I pray to St Joesph and St. Monica and then pray to keep my big mouth shut! :-):cool:

I agree, living the faith is the biggest message of all.


#7

I forgot to tell the OP not to take it personally if he doesn't respond at first. Even though it may be your deepest prayer that your husband becomes a Catholic, as my husband told me last night, "You may not be the channel for me to come back to God." I know the Bible says that a believing spouse will win her husband for Christ, we are really only one influence and can only do what the Holy Spirit allows us to do. My heart has been so affected by this seeming chasm between my husband and me...it's been really hard.

So stay strong, keep in touch with your priest for support, and try not to envy other couples that you might see in church. I speak from my own experience.


#8

Lead by example and above all, Don't Nag!


#9

A man’s spiritually is quite different from that of a woman. Words cannot easily explain, but this song will let women get a glimpse.

Sinner’s Like Me


#10

Thank you so much for all your advice. It really helps. I fear my prayers may have been answered in a way that I didn’t mean though, I went for a scan today at the hospital (I developed gestational diabetes, and so they started monitoring the baby’s growth).

Our baby is not growing enough, and today they said that there was not enough fluid around the baby. So now they are talking about having to deliver her early. I am only 31+6 weeks, and it seems that this might be in a couple of weeks time potentially. I have to go into the hospital in the morning to be admitted, as they want to give me steriod shots to speed up the maturity of the baby’s lungs in preparation for an early delivery.

I am now worried sick, and so is DH, but is trying hard not to show it and be supportive.

I know God would “make” this happen because I prayed for a way to bring DH closer to Him, but even so!

I am praying that our baby will be ok, and trying really hard to put my faith in Our Lord, but it is really hard.

I have posted a prayer request, but ask if you would kindly please remember us in your prayers as well, I am really sick with concern and worry. I know this happens all the time, and they are the experts, thank God for the wonderful people in the NHS, but I am really worried.

God bless you, and thank you.


#11

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