I've been dating this guy for a year and a half now and every so often he gets very...discouraged, angry, annoyed, and upset. He will tell me that he feels disconnected from me and then give me a reason. What normally bothers him goes along the lines of, he does a lot of thinking, a lot of future planning, a lot of work, and I do almost none. He says he feels like he is being aware for both of us and it feels like he is taking care of a little brother or sister because I am not motivated to do things on my own.
"It feels like I grow tired of having a very idealistic standard, and then [having?] a girlfriend who does not genuinely share this. I think you rarely act on heavy loads of work without being pushed first, because you simply don't care or value the work."
I sort of agree. I know I have a hard time getting motivated and I think in the present. What I am doing now, and such. I don't know about careers, although I am working on it, and I get stuck just wanting to do something in the now, like play video games, read a book, etc. I've been trying hard to do something productive before I do such things (like find a better job, research careers, pray, and read books about self esteem or something that I lack). I felt like I was doing better and it was okay but he started saying these things again and it hurts. I know I've gotten kind of comfortable with just being comfortable and I have slacked, but I am trying. I can't get my mind to work like his though. Abstract things sort of feel difficult to me. Maybe it isn't even abstract, maybe it is the fact I have a hard time focusing. When I listen to anything, I can't ever remember what is said until I hear it a few times and then I still have problems.
Anyway, I don't know completely how to get through this and prevent it from happening in the future. I'm a shy person, with little self esteem but I am working towards being confident and being able to take care of myself.
He is Catholic, and I plan on going to take RCIA classes in the fall. We have promised ourselves to each other and plan on getting married, although we are both aware we are not and are free to leave. I don't want to leave him just because of some difficulties, I want to do whatever I can for him.
Will this work out?