How can I obtain integrity?


There’s a lot of pain in my life, as I know there is in most people’s lives. I just took some pictures of myself for my Facebook profile pic, and what I see in those pictures is an overweight male with tired eyes who doesn’t smile very easily. I’m in my late 20s, still living at home due to personal debt, and am now seeking therapy from a psychologist. I don’t suffer from depression, or if I do then it’s very mild, but I try to be happy, I try to be social, and try to be outgoing. There’s just something missing, and my pastor says it’s integrity.

When I look at those pictures I took, I don’t see integrity. When I look at myself, I’m disappointed in my weight (though I’m going to the gym 5 days a week), I’m disappointed in myself due to my sins, and I’m disappointed in myself due to my financial and living conditions.

Last night I went out with a girl. This is the first girl I’ve been out with in 5 years. And it felt really good. It wasn’t a date, per se, but it felt good to care for someone, to look after her pocketbook, to ask her if she needed a ride home, and to give her a hug. It assured me in some small way that things aren’t so bad after all. I don’t know if we’ll ever do anything again.

I’m hurting. The Holy Spirit has made me aware of this. I plan on continuing to see my therapist, without a doubt, but I was just wondering if anyone here could help me learn ways to find integrity and to be proud of who I am, who God created me to be, no matter what I look like?

And prayers are always welcome.


God bless you! Know that God loves you more than you can imagine, and that your personal worth does not come from anything you personally do (or fail to do), but rather from the fact that God created you in His own image out of pure love.

When you begin to feel disappointed in yourself due to your sins, know that Jesus loves you so much that He would have died on the Cross for you even if you were the only person in the whole world. That is how dear you are to Him.

It is good that you are seeking help to keep your feelings from getting out of hand. And it is great that you are finding happiness in a new friendship. Take it slowly, treat her as a person with her own dignity as a daughter of God. If it doesn’t work out, trust that God will place other friends in your life.

I too struggle with my weight. It can be discouraging. I have heard wonderful things about Suzanne Fowler’s “Light Weigh,” which incorporates Catholic spirituality into a weight loss program. I have not tried it personally, but you can read about it here:

Don’t let other people’s Facebook profiles become the measure of your self-worth. Most people are not honest on those pages; they create images of themselves that are not real. I don’t think those “social” networks are worth much, and often they do more harm than good. Spend more of your time with real people you know personally, or people in the community (in nursing homes, soup kitchens, your parish, etc.) who need you.



Say only and exactly what you mean. Mean only and exactly what you accomplish.

Or if you are really serious about it;

Write down only exactly what you are going to do and do only and exactly what you write.

Do this and it won’t be long before your confidence, due to the integrity you have established, is higher than your therapists. :smiley:


Be who you really are.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit