Actually, I was going to title this thread, How terrible am I?
I try to be kind. I try not to judge others. The decisions others make are between them and their God and I usually stay out of it.
HOWEVER. (There is always a “however,” isn’t there?)
I was betrayed by a long-time spouse. It hurt beyond belief. It hasn’t been all that long ago. (I have heard it takes at least half as long as a relationship existed to get over its failure – in which case I still have 12 years to go . . . ) My children were grown, and I do not need to interact with my ex-spouse or the woman he is with.
Sometimes (like tonight), I am in a social group, and the topic turns to life experiences. I tend to be fairly glib by nature. In telling “my” story, it became apparent I was really making another person present very upset. It appears he and his spouse were both married to others when they met, and their relationship began illicitly – although their marriage has since been convalidated.
I would never have chastised them. I would never have judged them. And, yet, obviously, by my comments he felt judged.
So, how wicked am I? Should we try to make people “feel okay” about themselves? I am certainly in no position to judge the sins of others – I have enough trouble with my own failings.
I like this person and I really feel badly about what happened.
If I am at fault, does my sinfulness lie in not being kind and generous in spirit to my neighbor? Is my sinfulness in basically gossiping about my life? Or has the whole thing just raised up some deep pains because of the infidelity of one I loved?
Something is wrong here and I’m having a very hard time working through it. Do I need to go to Confession (I’m not typically scrupulous, but if I show up again, since just going yesterday, the good Padre will certainly raise his eyes); or just need to take a deep breath and let others resolve their own relationships?
Your opinions are respected. Let me have it – I’m a tough old bird . . . :o