How did Retrouvaille help your once failing marriage?


#1

I am curious to know about any experiences with Retrouvaille. We have a few threads open about this subject and I'm curious to know how Retrouvaille helped or didn't help your marriage.

Please share.

Is Retrouvaille worth it? What tools did you gain? How effective was it? Was it boring? Was it an eye opener? Did it change your relationship at all?


#2

I found it to be the most eye opening experience I have EVER had. I speak as a clinical psychologist as well as a wife. However, it does require a great deal of effort and desire on both parts as well as the motivation to continue with the post sessions. They say more is learned in the post sessions. I’m not sure I agree with that but I DO think they are absolutely essential to staying centered on the learning/communicating experience. I don’t think Retrouvaille is for everyone in terms of individual problems that contribute to the breakdown but it would certainly help any marriage communicate better and learn to understand each other’s deepest feelings better. I left the weekend with so much hope. Unfortunately, 6 months later, my husband has returned to his singles married lifestyle but that out of his own thing - not the learning that went on at Retrouvaille. Despite what we have been through (and right now is not working) I still HIGHLY recommend Retrouvaille. I believe it is the best marital experience any couple could have.


#3

My parents’ marriage was teetering on the edge of collapse, they got over their problems and are far from the brink.


#4

[quote="Dakota_Roberts, post:3, topic:244071"]
My parents' marriage was teetering on the edge of collapse, they got over their problems and are far from the brink.

[/quote]

That's great to hear!!! It's a great lesson for you that marriages have ups and downs and to not give up.

Your parents did a great service to you!


#5

[quote="2nzigo, post:2, topic:244071"]
I found it to be the most eye opening experience I have EVER had. I speak as a clinical psychologist as well as a wife. However, it does require a great deal of effort and desire on both parts as well as the motivation to continue with the post sessions. They say more is learned in the post sessions. I'm not sure I agree with that but I DO think they are absolutely essential to staying centered on the learning/communicating experience. I don't think Retrouvaille is for everyone in terms of individual problems that contribute to the breakdown but it would certainly help any marriage communicate better and learn to understand each other's deepest feelings better. I left the weekend with so much hope. Unfortunately, 6 months later, my husband has returned to his singles married lifestyle but that out of his own thing - not the learning that went on at Retrouvaille. Despite what we have been through (and right now is not working) I still HIGHLY recommend Retrouvaille. I believe it is the best marital experience any couple could have.

[/quote]

I'll pray for you. Your husband is afraid of responsibility it seems. You are a clinical psychologist, so you would understand his fears better than me.


#6

Does anyone know if it would work for someone looking to make a good marriage better, or is it really just meant for couples in trouble? I'd like to go to get tools to make sure my marriage stays strong, but I don't want to go if the focus is on solving problems we don't have. The seminars we had to go through before we got married were torture, and I wouldn't want to sit through something like that again if I wasn't going to get anything out of it!


#7

I would not recommend Retrouvaille for a good marriage. I would recommend a weekend marriage encounter. They are better suited.


#8

Retrouvaille is for couples who are headed for divorce and are willing to make one last attempt to save the marriage. There is a communication worshop called Marriage Encounter that helps married couples communicate on a more intimate level, it is designed to make good marriages better, that is probably more in line of what you are looking for.


#9

[quote="Dakota_Roberts, post:3, topic:244071"]
My parents' marriage was teetering on the edge of collapse, they got over their problems and are far from the brink.

[/quote]

The same is true for my in-laws.

Retrouvaille (like it's 'parent', Marriage Encounter) teaches a couple to communicate in a more constructive way, with each person discussing and listening in a safe way.

Marriage Encounter is for healthy Marriages and will stress Marriage as a Sacrament as a means to grow together (it's more of a retreat for married couples)

Retrouvaille is for troubled marriages and works very heavily on repair and communication, less so on the Sacrament itself.


#10

Although it is catered towards troubled marriages, I think it would help ANY couple communicate better. The journaling and intimacy built during that weekend would be WONDERFUL to begin a relationship with (in my opinion). In fact, I asked the priest at our weekend why they didn't have all couples do this pre-marriage, and he said it was mainly because couples typically thought they wouldn't have these problems so were not interested. If you want to understand your spouse's deepest feelings, I think it would be amazingly helpful. There could even be great learning experiences from other people's experiences alone.


#11

It was great to open up doors of communication and gave us the tool of journaling to help bring us closer, air out/resolve issues, etc. However, problem is what happens after? We attended the meetings afterwards and journaled for a few months, then old habits set in.
I tried to approach my hubby about it but he was not interested in journaling or trying to spend time together - we’re back in intense marital counseling now but I would highly recommend Retrouvaille. They just need to have a more serious followup.


#12

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