How did you know it was time to TTC?


#1

TTC couples and families with children, when did you start trying? What were your major concerns before? What allowed you to feel ready to try to start your family?

I know some people here are of the opinion that there are no serious or just reasons to avoid, but the Church says so…so I’m good with that. I’m not really looking for judgment on whether or not there valid reasons for TTA.


#2

[quote="CAmeliaD, post:1, topic:182358"]
TTC couples and families with children, when did you start trying? What were your major concerns before? What allowed you to feel ready to try to start your family?

I know some people here are of the opinion that there are no serious or just reasons to avoid, but the Church says so...so I'm good with that. I'm not really looking for judgment on whether or not there valid reasons for TTA.

[/quote]

I'm expecting now, and DH and I were married in September. We never TTA, but never really TTC...just let everything happen in God's time. For us, we looked at our situation and that we didn't have any reasons that were serious enough to avoid. But the Church says there are reasons, and I think each couple needs to make those decisions for themselves. However, I just took a new job and I have a 1 year contract, they're paying off some school loans. So, the baby will be born in July, but my contract doesn't end until October. Kind of stressful, and I think we could have been justified in waiting a few months. I guess that doesn't give a real answer does it? :o But, anyway, those were the things we had to look at and decide if it were a serious enough reason to TTA or whether to just let God decide. In the end it came down to that we are just ready (as much as you can be) to be parents. :)


#3

It’s not so much a matter of feeling “ready to conceive” for me. I’m not sure what that means- I sure didn’t feel ready to be a mom when I first became pregnant! Our default is being open to conception, though, and we need valid reasons to avoid it (which there sometimes are!), not a reason to achieve it. So if there aren’t any circumstances in our lives that are grave enough that we feel justified in avoiding, then we are open to conception.


#4

We've left everything in God's hands since day one. We figured we'd wind up with a good 8-10 kids this way. :D That was nearly four years ago...no blessings yet. :(


#5

I almost wrote “wait, you mean there are practicing Catholics that really do set time aside and say, yeah, now let’s try to have a baby?” But I figured that such a statement would be misinterpreted as a slight to folks struggling with fertility and I didn’t want to do that.

I’ll just say that we found out the old fashioned way; 2.5 months after our wedding my wife went to get some tests on another medical issue and got a “congrats!” Same deal about five months after our first was born. In retrospect, the first should not have been a surprise. The second? Well, it certainly was but now we know much better how childbirth totally disrupts hormonal balances and to chuck menstrual history out the window.

The littlest is getting close to eight months now, so I think we’re sort of getting the hang of this NFP thing… :smiley:


#6

Could someone please define TTC and TTA for me. :o


#7

TTC - trying to conceive

TTA - trying to avoid

:)


#8

[quote="CAmeliaD, post:7, topic:182358"]
TTC - trying to conceive

TTA - trying to avoid

:)

[/quote]

Thanks. Now the thread makes much more sense to me. :o


#9

[quote="CAmeliaD, post:1, topic:182358"]
TTC couples and families with children, when did you start trying?

[/quote]

We started actively "trying" less than a year after we married, and had used NFP to "avoid" for a short time. I'm using quotes because I had a luteal phase defect, so even if we weren't "avoiding" we still wouldn't have gotten pregnant, and it took months and months of "trying" after we corrected my infertility.

[quote="CAmeliaD, post:1, topic:182358"]
What were your major concerns before?

[/quote]

I didn't have any (I had wanted children since I was like 3 years old :D ), but my husband was worried that we wouldn't be financially stable enough, I think, if we "tried" immediately (he was graduating from college a month after the wedding, and didn't land a full time job until 3 months later).

[quote="CAmeliaD, post:1, topic:182358"]
What allowed you to feel ready to try to start your family?

[/quote]

An overwhelming inner desire to have a baby. :love:


#10

We knew it was time to start TTC when we got married. My philosophy (and his) was along the lines of: being married means you’re ready to have children. So if you’re not ready to have children then you’re not ready to get married. Generally speaking. So, we were married and we conceived on our honeymoon, and that was that. :smiley:


#11

[quote="The_Bucket, post:5, topic:182358"]
I almost wrote "wait, you mean there are practicing Catholics that really do set time aside and say, yeah, now let's try to have a baby?" But I figured that such a statement would be misinterpreted as a slight to folks struggling with fertility and I didn't want to do that.

[/quote]

So you still wrote it anyways? Why? :confused:

BTW: Yes, it kinda stabs the knife a little deeper into my infertile heart. :(


#12

I like your philosophy! :smiley: Congrats on the honeymoon baby. :clapping:


#13

[quote="prolifewife, post:12, topic:182358"]
I like your philosophy! :D Congrats on the honeymoon baby. :clapping:

[/quote]

:blush: thank you! I pray you and your husband are blessed as well this year. :)


#14

AC Claire that was us too!! After reading a lot of books on marriage and Church teaching we decided that if we weren't ready to have kids we weren't ready to get married. We conceived on our honeymoon as well. :)

We got married August 06 and dd was born June 07. Twenty one months later ds was born and he's 9 months old now. He's such an easy baby that I'm already starting to think about the next one...


#15

Another woman of my heart! :smiley: We also got married in 2006, great year to get married if I do say so myself. :stuck_out_tongue: I vote for starting on baby 3! :wink: :thumbsup:


#16

If you are an NFP user, pay attention during the TTA abstinance times. That's essentially a sexual fast and God speaks louder when you fast! :D

We only TTA for a couple months after marriage. With some post pregnancy problems after the first, we waited a couple years before the nudge pushed hard.

The second pregnancy had some scarier complications and the baby was a horrible sleeper! We weren't sure we were EVER going back. But after three years, we started to feel like our serious reason was more like cowardice than a serious reason. But it was hard to be SURE. Who says you get to be sure? Nobody. Once we realized that, we compromised by cheating the TTA early day rules a little to see what would happen. All in the name of science, of course... ;) Yup, we were just cowards. Shouldda gone for DD#3 at least a year sooner!

My point is, stop worrying about being in total control. If you have a VERY serious reason, then use the TTA rules. If you think it's only borderline serious, but wouldn't be a disaster if another baby came along, do TTA and CHEAT! The more you wonder, the more you cheat. It ain't being in control, but control isn't all it's cracked up to be!


#17

[quote="prolifewife, post:15, topic:182358"]
Another woman of my heart! :D We also got married in 2006, great year to get married if I do say so myself. :p I vote for starting on baby 3! ;) :thumbsup:

[/quote]

Me too, I second that vote ChelseaRae! (Because, you know....it's *our *votes that matter. :p)


#18

The first time, we were married about 3 months of TTA . . . I was graduating college, looking for work, our finances were insane, and DH just wasn't willing to seek pregnancy. My family history is such that we knew more than likely we were either TTA or I would be pregnant within a month.

Anyways, I sat down after I got my first job out of college and worked out how long it would take us to get out of debt on both of our incomes if we maintained our college standard of living. It was 8 months. I showed it to my DH, and he decided to put aside his misgivings. I was pregnant 2 weeks later.

Then we found out we were having twins, and that pretty little budget went out the window anyways.


The next time around, we never did decide to TTC.  Instead, I decided that I wasn't going to TTA anymore when the twins were 18 months old because I was ready to have another baby whenever, but if my DH wanted to continue to TTA then I would take temperatures and give him mucus readings, and he could keep the charts.  He never got around to charting, but (unfortunately for me) he really didn't need to anymore.  The fertility signs were just that obvious.  Eventually, he started kinda wanting a baby too even though our finances were horrible and he started taking more and more "chances".  When I did get pregnant, we pretty much knew the next day . . . it was pretty obvious that we'd hit peak day straight-on, and like I said - with my family, you're either TTA or pregnant in one month.  Oops! *grin*

#19

[quote="manualman, post:16, topic:182358"]

If you think it's only borderline serious, but wouldn't be a disaster if another baby came along, do TTA and CHEAT! The more you wonder, the more you cheat. It ain't being in control, but control isn't all it's cracked up to be!

[/quote]

LOL! This is so truly how it often really works out, from what I hear!


#20

[quote="manualman, post:16, topic:182358"]

My point is, stop worrying about being in total control. If you have a VERY serious reason, then use the TTA rules. If you think it's only borderline serious, but wouldn't be a disaster if another baby came along, do TTA and CHEAT! The more you wonder, the more you cheat. It ain't being in control, but control isn't all it's cracked up to be!

[/quote]

I LOVE that ! :thumbsup:
:thumbsup:That's exactly how I see it... and therefore I'm trying to convince DH that we should cheat more often... :o:p :shrug:


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.