My brother is very intelligent, he has a genius IQ in fact but when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex he is a mess.
He is having major problems with his marriage. Both he and his wife are at fault.
When he calls me, I don’t know how to advise him. Neither he nor his wife want to go to therapy. She because she doesn’t like to tell her problems to strangers and him because he says he is too busy. Both express a desire to save this marriage.
My brother’s relationship with his wife started with an affair. Both were with other people. My brother was living with his wife’s friend and his future wife was married but separated(She was still talking to her hubby)
IN their marriage, they have both had affairs, called each other names and argued horribly. They are both very jealous. She calls him several times a day and he checks up on what she is doing.
My SIL also accused our sister of having a sexual relation with my brother! Agh. This is not true. My sister has lunch about once a week with my brother. That is it. Her husband, like mine is overseas, and my brother works in the same town that she lives in. So, he has helped her with the kids. That’s it.
My SIL kicked my brother out of the house, but she wants him to come home on weekends. He lives with my sister through the week and might spend a few weeks with me also.
My brother informed his wife that he would buy a house and she could keep their old one. He would make payments on both. She got angry because she said that he was not trying in the marriage any longer.
My siblings and I grew up with a overly melodramatic mother who was constantly in and out of relationships. I fear that my brother is comfortable with melodrama even though he and his wife are making one another miserable.
I worry about them both but what upsets me most is that outside this marriage they are both decent people. They help others unasked. They work jobs in the medical field that they both love and are both dedicated to their patients.
There is a lot more to this but I will stop now. I think that you all get the gist of this without my going into details.
What do I say to my brother and how do I help them? How do you help people who seem to do their best to undermine their own marriage?