Looking for your experiences and advice here.
I have a neighbor. Let’s call her Jane. Jane has emotional problems - a difficult personality. She is also a gossip, and needy. What some might call a “psychic vampire.” She wants friends, but runs anyone off who is friendly because of her passive-aggressivity. I pray for her frequently, but experience has taught me that I need to distance myself from her in order to keep my own sanity.
Jane wants to be my friend. Not just a wave-at-you-when-I-pass-you-in-the-street-friend, but a talk-to-me-every-day-friend. I don’t want that. I have worked very hard to let Jane know that I don’t want to be an intimate friend. For example, when she leaves a voice-mail message inviting me to something, I don’t respond. When she sends cards or letters I don’t respond. When I see her in the street I wave, then quickly leave.
The problem is, she won’t take no for an answer. Every chance she gets, she tries to put me into a position where I will have to interact with her or appear rude. It is complete and total manipulation, but I need some help in dealing with it. The latest attempt, which prompted this post, is that she left a voice mail message that she had gotten a big load of compost, that it was more than she needed, and would I like some. Sure, I would like some…but I know that if I call her back and say yes she will be over at my house in a New York minute and won’t leave…she will want to gossip about everyone in the neighborhood, and bubbling right under the surface, ready to come out in tearful sobs if given half a change will be “why don’t you want to be my friend? What have I even done to you? You are sooooooo rude…”!
I would appreciate any suggestions as to how to deal with this. I don’t want to be rude, but I cannot be friends with this woman.