How do i avoid this argument?


#1

I am going to keep this short because my computer keeps deleting it as I type it. My husband wants my dad to take a loan out for a car because he has better credit and then we pay the paymwnts. My dad doesn't like my husband much. We've had a bad marriage and my husband is always trying to end the marriage. The answer will be no so I'm not even going to ask. I am sick of fighting though with my husband who thinks he's owed things from my family beause he married me. They are not rick and its just going to turn into an argument that he married their poor fat daughter and should have married someone else. I know he's a jerk. That's not the issue. I'm sick of the fighting. How do I avoid this argument?


#2

Tell him that you don't need a new car or fancy car, and that this is his responsibility. Tell him that you trust him to handle it and it is his choice if he wants to ask your parents himself.

A decent reliable car can be found for $2,000 to $3,000.


#3

If you do ask you Dad, I hope he says no. It's never a good idea to get a loan for other people, family or not no matter how good or bad the relationship is. If your husband misses one or two payments on a loan your Dad took out for him then it's your Dad's credit that will be tarnished. Also, there is a reason your husband can't get terms on a loan and it's probably becuase he has shown in the past that he doesn't pay bills on time therefore his credit report shows this. Also, it's bad to co-sign on loans for people too for the same reason so I hope your father doesn't do that either. Your husband may have the best intentions in the world of paying on that loan but life happens and you never know what the future holds. Also, it's a bad idea to finance a car. The minute you drive off the lot, you are upside down on your car. (i.e. you owe more than it's worth). Save up money and pay cash for a car. So what if you can't get the shiny brand new $20K car, apparently it's not in your budget right now.

Just tell your husband that your Dad shouldn't get a loan for him because it is a risk to your Dad's credit.


#4

[quote="forest1970, post:1, topic:218782"]
We've had a bad marriage and my husband is always trying to end the marriage.

[/quote]

If he has made threats to end the marriage, you should be taking steps to protect yourself and YOUR finances. Please do not let your parents co-sign a loan for him.

Praying for us all,
- curl


#5

Before you talk to him about the car and finances, you have to pray. When he begins to argue, just pray to the Lord. He will help you. I will pray for you also.


#6

I remember your stry from before. Please do not do this to your parents. Just let your husband know that you can get by with a less expensive car and that you really need to do it without your parents if you want to start rebuilding credit more quickly. This may help.


#7

Tell him NO and don't back down. He could very well be setting your father up by getting a car loan in his name, dumping your marriage and sticking your father with car payments or ruined credit.


#8

Tell him if he wants it and thinks it is such a good idea to be a man and talk to your dad about it himself. If he believes your family is close enough to help him with a loan then he should also be close enough with them to discuss said loan.


#9

[quote="Catholic1954, post:7, topic:218782"]
Tell him NO and don't back down. He could very well be setting your father up by getting a car loan in his name, dumping your marriage and sticking your father with car payments or ruined credit.

[/quote]

And don't think this is so out of the ordinary because my soon-to-be ex did it with me with a house and a car. I have the car now which is upside down and a house that I had to move out of that is under water mortgage wise - and I couldn't stay in town due to harassment - so dont let this be you.


#10

[quote="forest1970, post:1, topic:218782"]
I am going to keep this short because my computer keeps deleting it as I type it. My husband wants my dad to take a loan out for a car because he has better credit and then we pay the paymwnts.

[/quote]

Your dad would be a fool to do this.

Your husband also wanted your parents to sell their house to give him money, per your previous post, and is abusive to you.

Your husband has mental problems. I wouldn't give him a dime, let alone buy a car and let him use it.

[quote="forest1970, post:1, topic:218782"]
My dad doesn't like my husband much.

[/quote]

Duh. With good reason.

[quote="forest1970, post:1, topic:218782"]
We've had a bad marriage and my husband is always trying to end the marriage. The answer will be no so I'm not even going to ask. I am sick of fighting though with my husband who thinks he's owed things from my family beause he married me. They are not rick and its just going to turn into an argument that he married their poor fat daughter and should have married someone else. I know he's a jerk. That's not the issue. I'm sick of the fighting. How do I avoid this argument?

[/quote]

By telling your husband to go ask your father himself. Stay out of it. Or by telling your husband to leave. But, for some reason you don't want to do that.

I think you need counseling to see that you have options and staying with him is really not the best one.


#11

[quote="C_S_P_B, post:2, topic:218782"]
Tell him that you don't need a new car or fancy car, and that this is his responsibility. Tell him that you trust him to handle it and it is his choice if he wants to ask your parents himself.

A decent reliable car can be found for $2,000 to $3,000.

[/quote]

Actually I don't think this is true anymore. The Cash for Clunkers program seemed to have merely put a lot of clunkers back on the market. As such, its raised the price of reliable cars. I was able to get my car for about that much about 5 years ago. My husband totaled his car, so we've been just going with my car and every car we find within that price range is simply not a reliable vehicle (as in its not safe to drive on the freeway).


#12

[quote="twoangels, post:11, topic:218782"]
Actually I don't think this is true anymore. The Cash for Clunkers program seemed to have merely put a lot of clunkers back on the market. As such, its raised the price of reliable cars. I was able to get my car for about that much about 5 years ago. My husband totaled his car, so we've been just going with my car and every car we find within that price range is simply not a reliable vehicle (as in its not safe to drive on the freeway).

[/quote]

The clunker cars were required to be destroyed as part of that deal. Off topic -sorry to the OP.


#13

Well, I would say, ever time he brings it up, say "No." and walk away.

Tell your parents that he might approach them, and just say "Please just say no, Dad. You should not get involved with this at all."

Judge Judy is forever telling people not to sign for loans for other people, as it almost never ends well. It's ridiculous to do so. If a person can't afford the car, or get financing due to bad credit, then they have no business buying it at all.


#14

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