Okay, so i've prayed really hard, and once again, I feel I am called to marriage. In the past I've felt the pull to marriage, but due to low self esteem and other issues i've felt since high school (i'm 23 btw) that i'd never get a girlfriend, and even went so far as to think about the priesthood because I couldn't get a priesthood:eek:
So anyway, how do I become a suitable marriage partner for someone. Obviously there is prayer, which I try to do everyday, though sometimes i'm a little lax. What else should I do. I feel there are some obstacles that make me not as desirable now. For one thing i'm overweight at 5 ft 7 and 216 lbs (though I am fairly well built, and am athletic enough to pray rugby, which I did for a few years)
I also don't really have a full time job now since I couldn't find a teaching position after I graduated,so I work part time at a grocery store on nights and weekends and substitute teach most days. I also don't really have any interests or things i'm involved in other than work. In college it was easy. I played rugby, participated in Newman Center and Model UN and a number of honor societies and such, but now i don't do much. I live in a really small town and my church doesn't have a youth group, let alone youth to make one organized. There are also not many opportunities to meet people my age unless I want to drive an hour, and even then its hard to be a part of these groups because my work schedule is kind of different. I also don't have any friends close by to do even non religious things like going to hockey games or to bars or dancing or things like that. Mostly I end up just watching netflix at home or play with my dog.
Also, how do I get over the experience problem. Due to my lack of self esteem and confidence I didn't pursue many girls. Even the girls I did pursue, I only got one date from them. I've also tried online dating (i've met about 5 girls from match, 1 from Catholic match which I switched to recently) and only one of them thought I was interesting enough to get another date (though we only went on 3 dates, though I think it was good, since she wasn't really a practicing catholic). Most girls seem to say i'm nice, but don't really click. How can I prevent this?
Lastly,are there any other things I need to do to make myself more desirable? I've mentioned all the issues I've came up with, but is there anything else I should do. If i'm going to be married someday, I want to be able to attract the right girls and live out my vocation fully to glorify god.