How do I choose a spiritual director?

Hello everyone,

I was received into the Catholic Church at the beginning of 2010 after a long RCIA experience (started in 2007 in Afghanistan). I’ll avoid a long and drawn-out story, but I’m in the military and have finally be able to settle down into a nearby parish where I feel like I am a part of the Church. Constant moving around the country, deployments and training events all over the place seems to make it very difficult to develop my spiritual/personal relationship with God. I do many things on my own, such as praying the rosary, reading scripture and reading the works of Saints and Church Doctors. However, sometimes (many times) I feel like I need more direction in my hunger for God.

Can anyone give me some guidance on how I should seek and/or choose a spiritual director? Do I need a spiritual director? Is there anything I should avoid when seeking a spiritual director?

Thank you for all replies in advance and God bless.

Make sure they “think with the Church”

Faithfulness to the Teaching of the Church is very very important. And of course knowledge of theology and especially that of the spiritual life. Holiness too helps :slight_smile:

maybe you can start considering what sort of director you want: priest, nun, layperson?

Pray for one! I’d also contact your Diocese to see if there are any (either priests, religious, lay, etc).

Hi again,

Everyone, thank you for the responses. I absolutely agree that they should have a firm understanding of Catholic theology. I was raised Lutheran and ended up leaving the Lutheran Church because none of the priests or laity were able to intelligently answer my questions with regard to the “why” behind things. Additionally, I do feel that a spiritual director should be someone with some air of “authority” for lack of a better term. Knowing myself, I could see myself questioning another layperson’s direction. Not that a layperson couldn’t be a spiritual director for someone else. I find myself strongly drawn to a few oblate groups of different religious orders that I have read about, although I do not know anyone personally in those groups.

mylo - good idea about contacting the diocese. Never thought about that. However, I constantly pray for “perseverance and guidance” and recently our parish received a new priest. In my initial conversations with this priest, I have been very impressed with his knowledge, willingness to have open and flowing conversations with a layperson and sincere frankness (if that makes sense). Maybe I already found one without knowing it? Funny how that could be, isnt’ it? You ask God for something, then you ask your friends for some guidance and they say, “duh…it’s right in front of you…”

I think I will continue to pray about this, but I think I may already have my answer. :newidea:

Joel, fabulous about your new priest. My parish had a new priest at one point and EVERYONE and their dog was encouraging me to talk to him. Long story short, he’s my spiritual director. :smiley:

Keep praying (I’ll keep you in mine), and thank you for your military service!

Ps: I’m a former Lutheran as well, and a Benedictine Oblate. If you’re thinking about Benedictine Oblates, I’m more than happy to answer any questions you may have.

mylo - Thanks for your support. I am interested in oblate orders. The Abbey of Gethsemane is down the road, so to speak, where the Trappists have a monastery. I was doing some reading (the Cistercian Way) with them via the internet while I was deployed. Unfortunately, I think the lay group near Nashville has fallen apart.

Funny how a lot of former Lutherans seem to find their way to the true Church. :thumbsup:

Dear Friend: Here’s a site that was established to answer the question you are asking. I have provided a link to make the navigation easier…

Note the spiritual direction index page link at the bottom of the post. It has a list of posts related to finding and selecting a spiritual director.

Blessings to you in your search - Welcome to the Church! I crossed the Tiber in 2005


Thank you very much for that link. I am perusing your site as I type this. There is A LOT of information to take in. I’m sure I will be reading for a while.

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