I am a cradle catholic and have struggled with pornography and masturbation from a young age. I’m currently a teen and although it has been a struggle to overcome my addiction and impurities, I managed to stay “clean” since august, however 2 days ago I was tempted to fall back into the same habits and unfortunately gave in twice. I’ve always been awkward when confessing this sin and I just wanted to ask for some advice as to how to confess such grave sins?
Habits can be difficult to break, and even without external factors (like images), memory persists as a temptation. What is so bad about not having this experience? You are suffering immensely over this, so it really is not making you happy. It may help to know that once in a state of sanctifying grace, you will by grace, be able to voluntarily overcome the temptation. Now, it a thought comes to mind and you oppose it best you can, but it still is present, it is imposing upon your mind, probably due to habit, but if your will is against it then you have won. Habits will lessen with disuse. So you can confess so many times (or approximately how often if not remembered) lustful thoughts, and so many times self-abuse or lustful acts alone. Due to the influence of habit and other factors sometime this may not be a mortal sin, although it is grave matter. A priest can guide you on that determination.
Keep it simple.
If it was once for each just say-
viewing pornography for (how long e.g. 1hr or ?) once
Of if only one of these
viewing pornography for (how long) twice
“I looked at pornography and masterbated twice.”
All that I can add is the something often triggers your urge. Remove those triggers, such as disconnecting from the media - even if only for a time - cancelling magazines, filtering your internet, everything that appeals to your baser instincts.
i am aware that this is difficult, even very difficult, but the discomfort of being in mortal sin, and not just for yourself, but also because in exploiting others, you particulate in degrading their human dignity.
“Custody of the eyes” is key here. We are visual creatures. What we see affects us, positively or negatively. Train your eyes to look at the eyes of others, not their bodies. Look into their eyes and see Christ.