How do I explain the pregnancy of an unwed mother to my kids?


I have four children, age eleven and under, and need help as to how I can explain my sister’s pregnancy to them. She is 30-years-old and plans to be married after the child is born. I want to have the right words when it becomes necessary to tell them of this situation.


I recommend simply announcing the pregnancy as you would if your sister were married. “Aunt Susie is expecting a child in October,” you might say. Treat it as a cause for joy because the news that a child is expected should always be treated as good news. Only if further questions are asked should you then answer those questions.

Your older children might say, “But Aunt Susie isn’t married.” You might respond, “Not yet, no. She plans to marry the baby’s father in December.” That, of course, may take you into the morality of the issue, which you must determine how to answer depending on what you believe your children should know about the situation. I only recommend that, if this happens, you let your children know that they are expected to refrain from speaking critically to Aunt Susie and her fiance because it is not the place of children to correct their elders.

One other suggestion might be that you tell the older children and younger children separately about your sister’s pregnancy. That way you can answer any questions the older ones might have while avoiding the possibility of unnecessarily disturbing the innocence of the younger children by inadvertantly planting questions in their heads that would not have occurred to them on their own.

Recommended reading:

Beyond the Birds and the Bees by Gregory K. Popcak

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