How do I find a good spiritual director?

I really need a good spiritual director. Right now things are tough. I live at home where I substitute teach and work part time at a grocery store. Anyway, while I feel i’ve stayed committed to my faith, I really wish I had someone to talk about my faith with.

My church doesn’t really have any group like this since we are a small rural parish with mostly older members. My priest also isn’t really interested, and while I feel he’s okay, we just don’t click, although i’ve debated with myself over whether I just talk with him in spite of neither of us really making an effort to know each other.

So are there any ideas. I don’t really know any other priests or people who would be available. I used to talk with my priest from college, but he’s busy and i’m busy and i’d like to meet in person, but he’s 75 miles away. I know I need to pray about this, but anyone have any ideas

You could look into going on a retreat. I’ve never been on one myself, but I hear they’re great. You get away into the country with a bunch of other Catholics, and you play corny getting-to-know-you games, and there are faith building exercises, and there are discussions and bible lectures and all this other stuff that is supposed to deepen your faith and sense of community. There has to be some other stuff near you, and if not maybe think of moving?

Not to poopoo your suggestions, but I hate going on retreats by myself when I don’t know anyone. It feels like i’m a creep. I know you get to know people but I just feel wierd. Also I can’t really move right now. No cash as of yet.

I can totally understand, being the odd-man-out during a group based event is never a good feeling, but if you’re in need of people to share the faith with then you’ve got to put yourself out there somehow. Is there a bible study group at your church? I don’t know, I’m just thinking. If you live in a rural area where most parishioners are much older than you and the priest is someone you haven’t become close with, well, then it sounds like you need a new environment. Have you thought about joining a religious order?

I found my spiritual director, by contacting my diocese which mailed me a list of spiritual directors. You may try doing that with your diocese, or else ask help from a priest from your parish to find one,

Hi Benjamin, Alprous suggestion seemed good. Also the idea of a retreat is not really out of the ball park. If there is a local seminary, Abbey, convent etc or one fairly nearby, that is a good place to start. They often hold retreats and there are many different kinds from silent to very active. You also might check out an online site at Creighton University. They have an online Ignation retreat that addresses the Spiritual Exercises that you might find helpful. There is some opportunity for spiritual direction through them. I will try to find a link and post in a later thread. Finally, are their other young adult Catholics in you area, even in you diocese? A growing trend seems to be to get a group to gather together at a coffeehouse or even (gasp) a bar and meet once every few weeks to talk about your faith journey. It would be good to “snaggle” a spiritual advisor -nun, deacon, brother, priest - to meet with you upon occasion. Also good have or appoint a leader to keep everyone on topic during that portion of the evening or day. Could be a “rotation” through the group as each person might present a one meeting and keep people on topic. Good luck. :thumbsup:

Online Retreat in Everyday Life - Creighton

I do not know why this did not post as a link, but this is the site. Sorry, I am only semi computer literate! :slight_smile:

A young adult group sounds like the best idea. Our diocese has Faith on Tap. Once a month young adults meet in the back room of a pub, hear a talk on the faith and then discuss it over a few drinks. It’s a way to meet fellow Catholics, learn more about the faith and have fun at the same time.

I discerned a while back that I was called to be single or married. However, I am open to maybe working as a lay volunteer with an order. However, I am currently in debt because of college and would still like to teach in my area. You are right about the new environment though.

Unfortunately, I don’t really know of any groups close to my area. I don’t think my diocese (Lincoln, btw has one thats really advertised). Omaha has one, but its just a little too far for me. Also I work nights so it doesn’t really work. Also, some of the smaller cities in my area don’t have these groups, which I find sad even in a city of say 25,000

A lot of good ideas that were given. I would like to share that any priest, according to the Congregation of the Clergy within the Roman Curia, has the capablility to be a spiritual director. They serve this role most solemnly in the Sacrament of Reconcilation, and this apostolate is extended to conversation in which they give themselves outside of the sacraments.

Now, this capability even though is recognized and taught by the Vatican, I do not believe it has disseminated in a widespread way as of yet. So many priests would deny they could give this kind of direction, even though there words have the power to do so. I will give a link to the document on spiritual direction from the Congregation, so you have a better idea of what I am talking about. (albeit the sum of my words do not reflect the document) Their denial could be a result of ignorance of mystical and ascetical theology, and their lack of personal usage in these studies. But if you are a beginner God can work with a priest without the wisdom and you can simply break the engagement when you find a person who has the wisdom. The document I spoke about speaks of having mulitple directors.

Fr. Thomas Dubay wrote in “Seeking Spiritual Direction” that spiritual direction can be done by letter writing. So if your family knows a good priest, take there recommendation and reseach there address and start a correspondance with one in a humble way and maybe God will bless it with continuity.

Anyway here is the link I was talking about.

Try this site:

With priest shortage, it’s very difficult to find a priest who has time to be a one-to-one spiritual advisor - if your Diocese has a permanent diaconate program, a deacon could work. Good luck in your search! I stumbled upon mine simply by work I do for the church, so it informally developed.


Would the priest you talked to in college have any suggestions of people to contact? Also, there might be possibilities through Skype, instant messaging.

Just some ideas to make technology work for you.


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