How do I get higher self-esteem without committing the sin of pride?


Hi everyone. How do I get higher self-esteem without committing the sin of pride? I know that I have a serious self-esteem issue but I may also have a pride issue at time. My best friend tells me that when the Bible mentions pride, it just means not being egotistical. Is this true? Can I actually be proud of myself without committing the sin of pride? :shrug::confused:


Why is self esteem so important? No offense intended, but self esteem is rooted in… self.

Christ taught us to be humble. We are to love and serve others. Shouldn’t our satisfaction come in knowing we are doing what God wants us to do?

I think I am further along in my journey than I have ever been given my ups and downs and lapses over the years. Just today I was given the realization of just how much of a sinner I am and how I am not deserving of Jesus’ gift of salvation and at the same time His offer of His infinite mercy is my saving grace.

I am not doing what I am doing in my quest for my Savior to feel good about myself. My success will be when I hear “Well done good and faithful servant…” Then will be the time for feel good. I doubt it will enter my mind at the time.

Eddie Mac


I don’t think you understand. Self-esteem is important because I have such low self-esteem that I am actually suicidal sometimes. I don’t think God wants us to go around thinking about how horrible we are all the time. Do you? :shrug::confused:


No. I don’t think about how horrible I am. I think about how sinful I am. I was born sinful. I don’t have to think how horrible I am.

Spending time in front of the Blessed Sacrament, attending mass, receiving the Body of Christ, and doing what I am supposed to do the right way makes me feel better.

Eddie Mac


I guess you could say that I don’t understand the difference between thinking about how horrible you are and how sinful you are. :shrug::confused:

Also, I do the same stuff and it doesn’t help me to feel all that great.


When you see good things about yourself, Holly, just remember that every single one of them is a gift from God Who loves you. It’s fine to recognize the good in yourself, as long as you don’t claim that you are totally responsible for it. Thank God for His good gifts and rejoice that you have them.

Also, remember during this time of year when we relive Christ’s passion, death and resurrection, that He would have done every bit of it for you alone and no one else. That’s how much He loves you. You are worth it to God!



Healthy self esteem does not imply over confidence.

People with normal self esteem might doubt themselves from time to time but their sense of self worth consistently reverts to a balanced state. Having healthy self esteem does not mean feeling perfect. It is just not being continually plagued by self doubt. Having normal self esteem means not being excessively high one minute and feeling completely worthless the next.

Building healthy self-esteem


Hmmm ok. Thank you Betsy. :slight_smile:


Find a balance. Be hopeful in the future. Keep your head up; be confident in your talents, work on your weaknesses. Stay healthy and maintain honest relationships. Whenever you feel down and depressed, find comfort from your loved ones.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood


Ah ok. Thank you. :slight_smile:

Anyway, I’m going to bed everyone. :slight_smile:



That’s another thing: Sleep well. :smiley:

Ironically Yours. :heart:


You don’t seem have an understanding of depression or the feeling of guilt.
Sometimes people make sure you never forget that you have failed,even if it was once or seventy times seventy.
So I would say,
All you can do is hang on to the Lords promises.
He says he will never leave us or forsake us.
His word says his love is deeper then our minds can imagine.
Even when you feel like no one loves you much less God who
is perfection,even then hang on to the hope of what you have
been taught about His love. Read your bible,especially the
Psalms and Proverbs. Meditate on the Good news of His
love and forgiveness.
Those people who make you feel uncomfortable about how
you are living your life or something you did in the past,
aren’t perfect either. All have sinned.
Anyone who says they have no sin is a liar.
Talk to the Lord every minute of the day.
Put him first,He is number one.
That’s all He wants from us,to put Him on the
throne of our hearts and life.
And if you put him first you don’t have to worry about
being prideful because you know it’s all about Him.
Everything you say and do,if it’s good and worthy of praise
it’s because He made it possible.
May the Lord grant you peace of heart and mind.


Hi Holly hugs

You can boost your self-esteem by thinking of God. Think of the fact that He created you a beautiful woman with great talents and a good share in His Passion. He created you out of His Mercy. Be blessed to be who you are, and give thanks to the Lord. :slight_smile:


When our esteem of self comes from self, (ie: look at me, I did xyz!) It is a self focused pride issue. Also when we sit in the muck and mire of “whoa is me…I am a failure,” it is also a sinful pride issue. Anytime our view of self is not God focused we tread the pride line.

God Created You. God doesn’t make mistakes! All he does is good and holy and just. We may mess up, but that does not negate the quality of what he has done. We may do great things, but to think that we were able to do it alone is also not true.

I think that this whole culture of “everyone is special” is actually making no one special. We are all unique, important in our own way and we have to find the way that Our Lord created for us. Our focus has to be on our God-Esteem. Do we love Him enough to love others… He told us to “love our nieghbor as ourselves”. I can not love my neighbor if I do not love me first. Love defined as charity. If I do not feed my body and encourage my soul, how will I find the strength to feed and encourage my neighbor?

We sin, we mess up, we go to reconciliation and make right that relationship knowing that He is kind and merciful and ready to forgive. He does not ask for perfection, only our best. If we negate our worth we are telling God that He did wrong making us. God needs you, you are an important part of His plan. The job He has for you may not be pretty but it is no less important. We are all part of the body of Christ, some are ears and tongues, some are hand and feet, all important functions, but if the liver, spleen and rectum shut down, I will sure hate to be a part of that body!

Knowing you have worth in God’s loving eyes and heart does not make you a prideful sinner. It makes you a loving child.


Hi Holly,

Love yourself. Not in a vain way, but in the way that God knows you.

If you see horrible or sinful, follow God’s Love to where He Sacrificed Himself. For you. Because God Loves you.

God Loves you, enough to give you everything. And everything is a lot when you think about it. Focus on the Love God has for you, and love yourself, even when you sin.

Of course, this does not mean that you love to sin. :slight_smile: Love God as He Loves you, and there is the reason to do as He commands.



Yes, sleeping well is a very important part of managing depression. When I haven’t gotten enough sleep, I get depressed very easily. Also, my doctor told me I have to cut out caffeine from my activities because it was causing me to have panic attacks. Unfortunately, I still had almost a full case of Diet Mountain Dew left so I chose to go ahead and drink it but to simply cut down on it for now.

I totally agree. Everything we do that is good and worthy of Godly praise comes from God. And it is also true that mankind is not perfect and sometimes mankind only makes things worse but thankfully I have people like you that I can rely on to give me good advice and to help me feel better.

That is true Eucharisted. I really think you have made a very good point here.

Wow! Great post! :thumbsup: I totally agree with you.

Ok, see that’s the thing Rebecca, I don’t really know how to love myself in the way that God knows me. How do I do that? :confused:

Also, loving God is not usually a problem for me though it can be sometimes. But anyway, thanks for the helpful suggestions. :thumbsup:



Your dignity and worth as a person comes from the fact that you are created in the image and likeness of God, that you are His beloved child. Just imagine, you are the daughter of a King, the King of the universe! If you keep that in mind, that everything you are comes from Him, it can hardly become false pride.

Humility is not a matter of putting ourselves down. God does not want that. Humility is acknowledgment of the truth. And God is Truth!

God loves you more than you can imagine. You can love yourself in an honest way, because you are His creature, and what He creates is good. Just remember to give Him the credit for whatever is good in you.

And for anything sinful in you, go to Him in loving trust, knowing that He wants to forgive you and help you be holier. Take advantage of the wonderful Sacrament of Reconciliation that He has given us, and then don’t dwell on the past, but look forward to doing today what you think He wants you to do.

May He give you His peace.


Ah ok. I always try to give God the credit for anything good that I do. Sometimes I fail in that task but I do try.

Also, I go to confession whenever I feel I need to as well (which can be quite often for me considering that I am scrupulous). :o


Christ commanded us to love our neighbors as our selves.

That means we ARE to love our selves.

This love–self-esteem–should be rooted in the facts that God made us to love and intends us for great joy that no one can take from us.


My dear friend Holly

The great commandments are to love God with your whole heart…and love your neighbour as yourself. This love we should have for ourselves is the greatest possible love we can have. If God loves us should we not love ourselves. God is insanely in love with us. God is love and can only love us. All he wants to do is love us. Holly, when you have poor health it’s very natural for us to become a little self centred. It’s natural and we all do it. Me too. The answer is to focus on others and try to help other people and it’s good to try to do more things for God and please God and forget yourself and just love God. When we do this we forget all our own problems and get relief from our trials. If God has given you a big cross it’s because he loves you more than others. It’s not forever though. I am still praying for you too.

God bless you:)

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