[quote="puzzleannie, post:2, topic:205957"]
the same way you would try to get your child, mother, or brother interested in the faith. Back off and don't appoint yourself as an in-house spiritual director. And concentrate on your own lived faith, your own sacramental and prayer life. Demonstrate in your own life your joy and completeness through living in Christ so his light shines through you. One adult has no business dictating to another adult what level of outward spiritual activity qualifies as "enough." Few of us are qualified to judge the depth of another's spirituality, much less the condition of their soul and it is dangeous to try. If you are looking for specifically areas where you can both be more involved in faith matters together, look to service that you can do together or alongside each other. Service is the answer.
Some aspects of your description could apply to my husband or to other men I know well, but that outward observation would be deceptive. I realized some time ago that what I assumed was a minimal prayer life or time-wasting, compared to what "works for me" was actually the life of a man deep in contemplative prayer and very advanced in understanding and living out the faith. I could not see it both because I am too close to him and because I had not enough maturity or experience in spiritual things to recognize or judge. Still I would never have dreamed of criticizing or challening him, any more than he would my own very different "style." We are now able to discuss much more deeply matters of faith and practice of the Christian life, where as years ago we just did not go there, and that is important because we are now much more together in life decisions that flow from that faith.
I'm awful at putting things into words so I'm sure I deserved that. Hubby and I talk about everything, we have very good communication with each other and I do know him very well. I'm not criticizing him or putting him down in any way, nor am I trying to force anything on him. We have candid conversations about everything, including our faith and spiritual life and he sees a deficit as well and does want to improve- but he isn't a contemplative at all- he truly doesn't think about or remember God all that often. Even the things I say we do do (mass, adoration, etc.), we only do these things because I remind him- when left to him, he completely forgets and isn't troubled enough to find ways to remember in the future.
Its only because I love him that I want to help him find ways to remember God and build more of a relationship with Him. I ask him if I am just nagging him and would he like me to stop trying to bring more spirituality into our family and lives but he says that he very much appreciates it and loves that I care enough to make the effort. He knows how he is and wants to improve, but our styles are so different and what gets me motivated doesn't get him motivated so I'm just looking for ideas to give him. He's certainly free to use them or not at his own discretion. I'm not trying to force him into anything, but he appreciates some gentle nudges as much as I do. Isn't it our vocation to try to help each other get to heaven? He helps me in many ways.