Throughout my childhood I witnessed my father physically abusing my mother. My dad also abused me. It was not everyday, and the severity ranged from a shove to him chasing me around my bed with a baseball bat in his hand. My parents divorced around the time I finished high school. My mother has been coping with depression and anger and has been in counseling ever since. This has weighed on me quite a bit through the years as I am very close with her. I have, periodically, made an attempt to speak with my dad. However, it is never comfortable. Discussions turn into arguments and I feel great anxiety, which my wife and four children feel.
My wife and children are my heart and soul. I’m having a difficult time incorporating my dad into my life as I feel great anxiety and anger for what he has done to my mom and myself that will be with us forever. There’s a part of me that feels sorry for him because he is all alone. I seek guidance on what it means to “honor your father.” I need to be in-line with God for my salvation.