To the point where he doesn’t want to see me that often because if he kisses me he gets excited
Oh ok, I was a little confused by the title of the thread and this statement.
He’s frustrated, not because i wont have sex with him, but because he doesn’t want to want to when he’s around me. That’s the problem.
Ok so he’s being aroused when he doesn’t want to be? Is this the problem?
A 21 year old guy is bascially aroused when the wind blows. Its nature. What makes us different from the rest of the biological world is we have a choice.
My wife was a 19 year old virgin when we met and up to the day we were married. We dated almost 2 years, and had a 6 month engagement. She was going through RCIA during our engagement, and it was important to her to be chaste.
I was the first serious relationship in her life. Was it hard to stay the course? YES. Was it frustrating YES. Did we argue about it? Sometimes. Did we fool around? Yes. And it was not always me doing the fussing. Sometimes I had to be the one to cut things off, because I knew she would be upset the next morning if we caved. At the nuptial mass, we agreed it was important for us to be chaste. We talked about that numerous times.
Both of us are/were the physical type, and in the last few months we basically avoided all occasions to be alone, because it was getting harder and harder. Six weeks from our wedding day we were fixing up the apt we were going to call home, we were alone, and I told her to get her purse because instead of cleaning bathrooms we were fooling around LOL.
She didn’t say a word to me all the way home. She was *hacked, *but the next day she was apologetic and thankful we didn’t blow it that close to the wedding.
The next time we went to clean the apt her mother and sister came with us (talk about a drag)
I suggest y’all try the same approach. Just avoid being alone in places you think no one is watching. He doesnt’ want to come see you because he doesn’t want to have sex, but when you’re near he fears he will get out of line?
Did ya ask him how he propose to advance the relationship, when he fears being with you even in a casual settings?
I get it he respects your wishes, but I suggest he show a little maturity, which might be in short supply at 21.
I know what he’s going through, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to see Debbie. Heck, I just had to deal with it.