How do I know if God is telling me who ," The one" is?

So i liked this guy since 1st grade, i guess he was my first love, and i think i was his first too. haha I loved going to church when i was little because of him. We never really talked much just teased each other alot as little kids do and played chase, laughing and lollygaging. But as we were growing up we grew apart. Our relationship never really got a chance to even become friends, still i couldnt stop thinking about him, despite all my other crushes, he was always in the back of my mind.
I asked God did you know then, when I was in 1st grade that this would happen to me, that he would be in my mind all the time, that all this frustration would be because of him, 12 years of this crush did you know all of this all along? And then asked God if you did, why? Why did you let me meet him and fall for him? Is he just a person I was supposed to meet and learn from or is he something more? And I asked God,” Why aren’t my pleas and prayers to you to let me forget him working?” I meant my prayer whole heartedly and I begged so I asked God why won’t you help me forget?
Then I thought maybe the reason why is becasue God knows that he is “the one” maybe I’m supposed to marry this guy. And I felt pretty good about that thought. It felt like the answer, I wasn’t frustrated anymore or worried. I just felt good, and now all I had to do was be patient. I felt so certain, I feel so certain, that he is the man I will marry despite the number of girlfriends he gets or despite the boyfriends I get and despite in the future my feelings that somebody else is “the one” , I feel that in the end we will end up together no matter how long it takes. So my question is: how do I know for sure that it is God or the holy spirit telling/guiding me that he is the one I will marry and not my own wishes that I mistakenly think is God.

Maybe God is telling you to be chaste?

You seem pretty young. If you have access to a college education, or trade school, and plan to avail yourself of those, then I doubt God is telling you to run off and get married. I mean, I suppose that’s possible, but… is it likely?

What if you completed what you decided to do for yourself before you are married, and then re-addressed the situation then? At that point, you can reconnect with him and see where his life has gone.

Now in my middle age, when I look back on “all my girlfriends”, I wish I had instead remained chaste, and married a woman based upon my desire for a stable family than my desire for her at the time. I also wish I had not had all of those girlfriends and been united with one woman for life. If I saw myself typing that when I was young, I would have despised my future self, though. It’s sad that important wisdom is lost on most of us when we need it most.

But if you instead think in terms of the sake of your future family (not just you), then things become a little easier to figure out. Consider reliability of a man. His stability. His ability to complement you and how well you two agree. Think about your future children most of all, because I promise you that’s the most important factor. You really need to think about them first, even before they are born.

Get outside help. God may be telling you something; but sometimes we are just telling ourselves things while believing it is God’s voice we hear. Sometimes our brains cling to old ideas for comfort, not truth.

Reach out to good adult counsel. Search for solid advice, not from romance junkies and movie buffs (they will only reinforce the romance-without-reality thing).

Risk letting go of your “hunch” and get to know others… Don’t put life on hold waiting for an idea. Believe me if it is truly God’s will, you can go to the ends of the earth yet still find your true love.

And I agree with the posts that advised you to be chaste and go work on your life. If you want to be married someday, be ready. My sister was widowed with three little kids and had no means to make a living. Always have some skills in your back pocket. Always be ready to stand alone if you have to. Some women and men get so intense in pursuing someone who they think is the love of their life, that they turn down opportunities for travel, education, career, growth, friends.

And, in the “be careful what you pray for–you might get it” department: Some people win the object of their affection only to find out that their own imagination was “filling in” a lot of the empty spaces; the “beloved” turns out to be a pretty different, sometimes scary, person than imagined.

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