How do I know if my father's threat is for real?


#1

We are waiting for the result of my father’s biopsy to find out if he has cancer or just a bening tumor. My father is a pesimist person and he already started to tell me that he will die soon and that my mother will be alone etc. He also told me a few days ago that if the result is cancer he will take 30 sleeping pills and finish it. Now my father is the type who exagerates and invents things and i ussually don’t believe half of the things he tells me but a suicide threat is a suicide threat. I don’t know if what he said was just in the heat of the moment or I should be scared that he said that to me. If the result is bad how can i help him and keep him from doing something like this?


#2

All suicide threats should be taken seriously. Better safe than sorry.


#3

You’ll know after you get him help and stop him from entertaining the thought of killing himself. Finding out that he has cancer could be very devastating and could lead to depression which could eventually soften up the conscience leading to contemplating suicide.

So please, don’t take any chances, whether or not he’s known to joke.


#4

He also threatened that if the result is bad he will lie to us that it is good so we will not be sad and not trouble ourselves with his problems. This is weird and crazy for me. I’m his daughter i want to know if something is wrong with him. So even if the result is good i will be afraid that he is lying to me. I can’t ask the doctor directly since he has to keep the confidentiality. So i don’t know what to do. Ask my mother to keep a constant watch on him. I also live in another country so i can’t supervise him.


#5

I agree it's better to be safe than sorry. Once he's gone, there is nothing anyone can do to reverse that, and the fact that you thought it was a joke won't be able to console you. :( Get him some help.

Prayers for you and your family.


#6

If he really loved you he wouldn’t lie to you. Don’t forget to pray for him. If he’s Catholic, make sure that if you find out that he happens to be in a fatal condition that he gets last rites. He needs that saving grace just in case he doesn’t make it.

(You might also want to start a thread in the prayer requests forum for him)


#7

He is orthodox, I will take care with an orthodox priest if something bad. But i still hope the result is good. We never had cancer in our family.


#8

[quote="cristyd, post:7, topic:223417"]
He is orthodox, I will take care with an orthodox priest if something bad. But i still hope the result is good. We never had cancer in our family.

[/quote]

Let the doctor know - if the results are bad then the doctor will be in the correct position to get him medial help for suicidality and to make sure he does not write him scripts for things he can kill himself with.


#9

Sending my prayers for your Dad, your family and for you.

Check and see if the hospital he attends has cancer counseling sessions. Our hospital here sends out public announcements and they have group counseling as well.

"... 5 discrete stages, a process by which people deal with grief and tragedy, especially when diagnosed with a terminal illness or catastrophic loss. The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live without the one we lost."

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grief


#10

[quote="joandarc2008, post:8, topic:223417"]
Let the doctor know - if the results are bad then the doctor will be in the correct position to get him medial help for suicidality and to make sure he does not write him scripts for things he can kill himself with.

[/quote]

I agree with this.

Tell the dr. about the suicide comment and the lying to your family comment. If the results are bad the dr. will then know to get him other help.


closed #11

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