I have a sibling who has grown to be a very selfish adult and who has hurt the family in many ways. I dont want to appear to pass judgement on her, though she has made foolish and bad choices that hurt alot of the family.
She has three children, that my mother raised since the last child was 6 months, My sister and her then husband worked a business in selling pets and supplies, the first 6 years working 6 1/2 days a week. My mother pushes her own children away, simply didnt have the time, and raises the grandchildren and it appears that mother puts them on a pedestal, and loved to tell who would listen “my daughter is a successful and wealthy business woman” all the while critisising her other daughters, for minor and petty things.
My sister turns out be a stressed out mother running a business, flying off the handle when the children want her time, and would often hit the youngest across the head and face when he became demanding of her time. She let him play by the side of the dam, put wood and burning material on a outside fire and grass mowing, both push mower and ride on mower all this at the tender age of 3 1/2, while she was inside the house.
The sudden riches and succcess go to their heads, parties, huge holidays for months at a time, without the children. My mother in her home looking after the kids, with no food supplies and mother does not drive.
The pressure of success eventually take its toll. My sister starts night clubbing on her own while she is married, and dresses very seductively. The marriage falls apart. She dissappears for 3 weeks without a word to anybody, not her husband, and not her 3 children. She was in Bali.
I saw the agony on her children’s and her husbands faces, and they are forever changed, my neice is forever asking when is mum coming back? She makes a shrine out of pictures, of her mum a beautiful queen, and pledging her love for her, 100’s of hearts and kisses. This is a cry for help. The youngest boy says if I say I love mum 1000 times, she might come home.
The business collapses, they wanted bigger and better and it didnt work. The shop folds.
She has a boyfriend, and can’t make up her mind who she wants to be with, husband or boyfriend and this going back and forward between the two has been going on now for 3 years. She gets pregnant by her boyfriend and at 20 weeks, chooses to terminate, for fear of the baby being sick, because she has been drinking excessively and taking anti depressant and that her husband would find out, she was pregnant by her boyfriend.
My sister and her children move in with mum, and she had 10 dogs and a cat. My mother cherishes her garden, but her garden is no longer with that many dogs trampling it. Sister does not respect mum and is simply not effected that the dogs have destroyed the garden. Her children have no respect for their grandmother either.
I am sorry for the long ended story, but what do I do as a catholic, when I see the way she hurts people I care about. I have forgiven, her for past anguish she creates, I put that behind me and try as hard as I can to make a connection with her at my mothers wishes. When I have connected to her, everything is all about her, anything I say that is not relative to her directly goes straight over her head. I didnt go visit her for two weeks, while my kids were on school holidays, I got busy with my lot, I have been verbally assaulted for not being there for her. She does not have to invest any thing in this sister relationship, she is so needy. To this day, she still makes bad choices and has not changed, yet my mother insists I have a close and warm sister thing going on with her. I can love her and take her as she is, but to form that close intimate relationship only really comes when their is respect and understanding. My mother is wanting the impossible.
Jesus was shamed and persecuted wrongfully, how did he suffer, without contempt for those who hated him? He didnt have bad feelings about his treatment.
How do I do the same?
Jesus kept his eye on the outcome, His Father
Is is fair to say, He knew he didnt have to wait so long to go home.
Please help me know how to pray for the same strength with my family. I want to be more like Jesus. But I can’t the way I feel.