From reading many of your threads it seems your real pattern is one of extreme insecurity. You attempt to gain security though external, outward, forces. “If my sister acknowledged she hurt me I’d be fine”, If people liked me I’d be fine", “Why should we be modest when no one else[quote=“Horton, post:8, topic:506623, full:true”]
_ou are so focused on the external. So many of your posts are all about what is happening on the outside. Start looking within, start growing up and learn what really matters.
You say you’ve been an adult for a long time. How long? I’ve been a grown up for a really long time and what people think about me is irrelevant to me. It’s not a matter so much of caring, it just knowing they will think well of me or they won’t. I can’t make them change their minds right at that moment. All I can do is continue to be the person I am and maybe one day I’ll make a better impression. I don’t loose sleep over it.
_ s?” “If I didn’t have to be modest I could find a spouse”. (Not saying these are your words but this is what I hear in your threads.)
I feel you should find a spiritual director to help you work through these issues of insecurity and learn to build strength from within. Learn to lean on prayer, on our Lord, our Blessed Mother, the saints. If at all possible go on a women’s spiritual retreat, maybe even a silent one with spiritual direction.
_There will always be people who will think and behave in ways we may not approve of, if we let it bother us every single time we’d never function at all…"
You’re right that I have insecurity about appearance and questions around modesty but realistically many women do in “today’s world”. Some women’s solution is avoidance,ie:they just avoid social media or avoid life/reality. That’s fine if that makes them happy,but I prefer challenges. No “man” is an island so to speak,people are social creatures and will be influenced by their friends,the times,current trends,how they see men acting,see friends husbands acting etc…that’s just reality. Someone being “aware” of “external things” or posting about them,doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is superficial.Personally I will always believe that inner beauty is number 1 and focus on that primarily. Hopefully,instead of just negative,some women will also see something positive,or relatable, in my threads about those “beauty related” matters.
We live in a world where females are given constant messages that it matters so much how they look externally and even Christian men don’t say that they want a girlfriend/wive with inner beauty.They except not only inner beauty but outer beauty too.
I see many threads on CAF about wives being shocked/floored/rugged pulled out all of a sudden finding out that their husband has been cheating on them with a younger,prettier,or sexier “model”.
** I’m not necessarily suggesting this will happen,but I think it’s more prudent i address issues with looks/men/reality while single then end up one of those oblivious women who were in a bubble thinking that their husband didn’t care about looks etc…**