Story short: My mother has some sort of severe personality disorder. She is raising my niece. I have recently reconciled with my sister (my niece’s mother) and we cleared the air and discovered the amount of our mother’s lies and manipulations. I had been NO CONTACT with my mother for more than 6 months, until recently I sent a text saying that I would be willing to communicate via text or email, written communication only. I did this so that I will have opportunities to communicate with my niece. I have had nice chats via phone and FaceTime with my niece. So far, ending NO CONTACT has been worth it for me, just to be in my niece’s life.
Okay, so current question:
I got a text from my mother last night. She is apparently incapable of any kind of small talk, because while I have texted her a couple times, her first text to me is
“I love you. I miss you and your family.”
Sigh. Yawn. Blech.
I am starting to see that she really is as disturbed as I suspected she was, and that I was not overreacting in order to protect myself. She cannot send a text like “We are doing such-and-such today.” or “Niece is having her soccer game tonight” or “I watched a nice movie yesterday”.
No, for my mother, she is ALWAYS looking for the next score. How can she play on my heart-strings and make me feel pity for her. I need to go back and read the Sociopath Next Door book again.
So finally, my question is, how might I respond without taking the bait? Or is ignoring the text altogether the best idea? Furthermore, I need to learn how to handle interactions with a severely disturbed mother in order to not abandon my niece, who is innocent in all this. I already have been informed by my sister of some lies that my mother tells my niece in order to blame my niece for my mother’s estrangement from me. :mad::mad::mad:
But this is what my mother has always done, and it is what she will always do. It is wrong, but it will not change, but until my niece is old enough to make a cross-country trip all on her own so she can visit us, I am going to have to figure out how to manage a sociopath. :rolleyes: