How do i stay patient in the time of singleness?


#1

Hello all, thanks for reading this

i really want to have an itimate relationship. but never had a relationship yet. i’m really religiously devout and have been asking my priest on what to do in time of singleness and prayed about it for years. i’ have resorted to masterbation/lust as a result of my impatience and somehow given up hope since i’m painfully shy and seeing “why the heck she would care 10-semi years ago when i did something impure/lustful one time”.

so i was just wondering if you have any insight on how i can stay pure and patient for my wife? thanks :slight_smile:


#2

There is a link 'Chastity' at the top of this site. Have you visited it yet?
No use repeating tons of great info there . . .


#3

Do you ask girls out? Do you socialize a lot? Do you go with guys friends and try to hook up? Do you talk to random girls at times and see if something can develop?

If you answered no to those questions, then you've found your problem. Masturbation and lust won't stop simply because you're in a relationship, but it can certainly be aggravated if you're feeling lonely.


#4

Harmony1988,

Please read my story: forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=394687

I was in your situation and I resorted to lust. The result was DISASTER even after I was married, not once but twice. Please, please, please read what can happen if you follow the dark path. Don’t go through what I did.

I also have some positive tips on my thread on how to stop the vicious cycle of lust.

Something else you need to realize, marriage is a vocation. That means that GOD himself will send you your wife when you are ready - assuming God is calling you to marriage at all. If you try to force it you will end up in misery.

But you have to cooperate with His grace. Here are some tips.

Because you are single, you have time. Go to daily mass and spend an hour each day praying before the Blessed Sacrament. Go to weekly confession. Im serious about that kind of time investment - this is no joke. Not only will these things help with lust, but it will help with you finding your vocation. Who knows, mabye God is calling you to the priesthood or religious life instead! Scare of that? Don’t be - anyone who follows God’s will is deeply and profoundly happy. :thumbsup:

So, when you pray before the Blessed Sacrament, do not ask for God to give you a wife. Ask instead that God reveal your vocation to you. Ask fervently. Ask often. Ask in the name of Jesus Christ. Keep asking until God reveals it to you. Get closer to God and stay there. God will reveal your vocation to you in goodly thoughts and impulses.

Also speak to a priest in his capacity as spiritual director.

IF you discern, after all of this, then I recommend the following:

Catholicsingles.com

Catholic singles groups.

Church functions of all kinds.

Avoid secular means for meeting women. You must find a woman who loves God first and you second, and who is Catholic. If you love God first and her second, then the vocation between you will result in true happiness. NOT BECAUSE OF ROMANCE, but because you are following God’s plan for life.

God is the source of peace and happiness. Never forget that.

Hope this helps! God Bless,


#5

Hey George, I don't know if you read much, but I definitely recommend the book "If You Really Loved Me" by Jason Evert.

amazon.com/You-Really-Loved-Questions-Relationships/dp/1569553696/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259164846&sr=8-1


#6

It's totally understandable and common to feel anxious for a spouse, especially if that is your vocation. Just remember that whoever she is, she cannot satisfy your innermost longing for peace, love, and intimacy that you are feeling. Only God can do that. How do you think it makes the Crucified Jesus feel when someone says to him, "Jesus, you're great and all and I like you a lot, but what I REALLY want is a husband/wife to make me happy!" There is an infinite hole in your heart that God has put there for himself only. The more you fill it with God's love, the more you will be able to share with your future spouse.

Live for the love that satisfies!

"God has created us for Himself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in Him." -St. Augustine


#7

[quote="george4072, post:1, topic:177450"]
Hello all, thanks for reading this

i really want to have an itimate relationship. but never had a relationship yet. i'm really religiously devout and have been asking my priest on what to do in time of singleness and prayed about it for years. i' have resorted to masterbation/lust as a result of my impatience and somehow given up hope since i'm painfully shy and seeing "why the heck she would care 10-semi years ago when i did something impure/lustful one time".

so i was just wondering if you have any insight on how i can stay pure and patient for my wife? thanks :)

[/quote]

www.chastity.com

There are a ton of great talks, books, etc on this website. Go to You Tube and search for "Romance Without Regret" which are talks by Jason Evert. These will help you out a lot.

Prayers to St. Joseph are a great place to start.


#8

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