How do I suggest to a friend to try AA meetings?


#1

Hello everyone,

I have a friend who is an alcoholic. He is one of the funnest people I know. I want him to have a full and happy life. And I understand that only God can change him and inspire him to fix this problem. I pray for him everyday!

With all this in mind, is there a way for me to sugget AA meetings or professional help to him without being pushy?

And, I would think it would be good for me to go to AA meetings also, to understand the whole process. Am I correct?

How do I even go about doing this


#2

Maybe you ought to call AA and ask them? I am sure after all this time, they would have some wonderful suggestions.


#3

why don’t you try something Catholic ?soberforever.net/


#4

I sent you a private message about this, as I have some experience with this issue. Please feel free to correspond with me if you want.


#5

You just sent trembling, intrepidation, etc, throughout my entire being. Counseling, YES, by all means…
AA…please NO!!!

This is some of the same kind of thing as the most hell fire n brimstone type theology ‘backsliders’ and sense of ‘conviction’. They believe that they must hit rock bottom, then the person becomes a part of the group, publicly humbling themselves getting all kinds of encouragement and pats on the back for confessing, and is taken into the fold…they have partners that help them, encourage them. Then, the newness wears off. They start to lose interest. Then they start ‘falling back into those sinful, evil, wicked ways’…only to go through the process again and again. And total abstinence is their answer. Not something as inane as to my way of thinking, ‘what about your decision making process takes you to this outlet of masochism and self sabotage’?

I’m definitely not an expert on how to handle it, but if they have that problem, they are going to be getting less and less sensitive and put you through an emotional roller coaster you’ll both be sorry for.

Prayer are with…but PLEASE NOT AA!!!:eek:


#6

Wow abbie what a scary answer! why would you stop a desperate person from trying anything at all? :confused: Especially AA which has a better success rate than anything else. Dcotors send people to AA all the time. It works. No drugs involved. you do not have to humble yourself! In fact you will find the dignity you threw away as a drunk in AA!!

AA is only a cult if you make it one for yourself. AA is a SUPPORT GROUP. A SUPPORT GROUP is really really important if you want to stay off the alcohol. AA has some excellent SUGGESTIONS about how to stay Sober which in fact are evolved from a religiious if not Catholic group called the Oxford Group. Staying off alcohol involves, yes abstinence but also character development. It involves confession, reparation, changes in daily habits from self-pity and self-absorption to knowing yourself and being willing to change, forgive, take responsibilty and grow, involvement of God (when you're ready for that accordign to your own lights), and finally sharing with others on whatever level you find comfortable. Yoy are confusing been made to be humble publically with humility which is a kind of important spiritual characteristic.

I will admit there is a rather loud group in every AA environment that preaches, demands, says you have to do what they sya or you will "get drunk" but frankly in the end those needy people have little power over YOUR sobriety, really. You go there, listen to the ideas, try them out, maybe meet a few like-minded souls, ask them to help you, (if you want and when you want) and go from there, the only thing being you have to want to stop drinking. If you have alcoholic problems why would you want to keep drinking????? And trust me many problems that look like "depression" or "insecurity" or "uncontrolled temper" are really side effects of drinking.

And you can trust me.:)


#7

Yes! to AA, NA, and any 12-Step groups!
I have been clean now for 22 yrs due to Narcotics Anonymous---- nothing else worked, and I tried a lot of other routes.

To get info go to either: aa.org or na.org


#8

I didn’t know that we were dealing with a worst case scenario of alcoholism. It sounded like these people still had some control in their lives. I was looking for a sane solution for a moderate together lifestyle like what I found with Catholicism as opposed to Apostolic/Pentecostal denominations based upon obsessive compulsive behaviors that twist the Word of God. I grew up in that type of environment with sober people. I’ve lived with that mentality. There are other alternatives. I only asked them to seek out better alternatives. I was the daughter of an apostolic/pentecostal minister…many generations…I have three brothers that are alcoholics-oops, one died of esophageal cancer. AA did not work for any of them. If your friend had a leak in their roof, would you recommend that they let the house fall to the foundation before fixing it, or fix that tiny spot in the roof before total devastation (the way of thinking that takes them to alcohol rather than other things-it is a thought process of masochism of self sabotage-like the man who must go through what sense of guilt, verbal abuse, and repentence after a hell fire brimstone sermon in order to feel vindicated with his God)?

Everything becomes all or nothing. They are to hit rock bottom. They do not find the causes nor the escapes they take in their way of thinking, the excuses they make for themselves…Sure they find the selfishness…which can feed that alcoholism, just like if they fail with AA. Have you ever thought of Carle Clinics…or my, try Catholic Charities Family Therapy on a sliding fee scale?


#9

If you and your friend are obsessive compulsives, learn to rechannel that energy towards working or making money or crafts or helping people. I hit a crossroads myself. I realized that I was drinking too much, had a roommate that was unbearable…and had two jobs. I was finding excuses to go to the bar too much and knew it. I joked with the bar tender “George, we’ve got to stop meeting like this”. He asked why and I explained. Nothing more was said. The next time that I was out with those friends, and I was a tad tipsy, George dared me to cocktail waitress for two hours. I did it. He joked about the rest of the evening. I did it. By then end of the night, he offered me a job. Now I came from a Christian family by then my mother and step dad Presbyterian and my Dad and step mom Baptist. This was not a real copasetic job. But I did it, as I saw it depends on the attitude with which you do this job. Six nights a week, 7 pm -3 am with clean up, no drinking on the job. I did it about 5 months. Having to see nice people and what they turn into if they drink too much and cleaning up their messes…I can drink. I don’t overdo. I don’t let others’ alcohol problems influence me to not drink nor to drink. Working 3 jobs is not for everyone, but somehow the immediate gratification of that pay every night, while others out spending theirs, did me some good. We kept a lot of people from driving drunk and a lot from being unfaithful. There are ways, other than AA that can work. Prayers are with.:slight_smile:

You see, I feel that it is a matter of choice. The drunk. I chose not to be that person.


#10

Wow that is just great that you have all that control and all those great friends who offer you jobs and stuff. I’m also really impressed with your in-depth psychological knowledge of the causes of and cures for alcoholism tho my first reaction to reading all that was “what?” I think you should write an article and send it to some Doctor organization. Or TV,or something.

I guess some of us are just not that smart and in control, so we go for KEEPING IT SIMPLE which involves God and a support group. Oh and abstinence because weak people like me can’t deal with rigid self control over a martini so we just chuck the whole drinking thing. But hey, I know I am missign a really important social game when I don;t drink a beer or 2 or 12 of a Sunday Afternoon. No wonder I am so unpopular.

good luck to you. Me, I’ll depend on something more tangible than luck. God and the love of like-minded friends. But thanks.


#11

:thumbsup:
I’m with you.

Do you have quotes for the success rates of AA?

And yes, I would stop a friend or family member from trying many things. Wouldn’t you? Sometimes the cure is worse than the illness.


#12

nope. becuase there is not a “cure” by the AA Philosopy. The going back to drinking rate is high, they say unoffically 7 out of 10, however I submit to you what I know is a fact that hospital doctors and psychaitarists refer people to Aa programs becasue they work better than pills and other programs.For alcoholism that is.

I am stopping here. I’ve stated my case. Alcoholics can find ways to stop - a true alcohlic will have to stop, not play games with it. I don’t like myself when I get sarcastic as I did above, and so I’m going back to the Catholic Answers part of this forum rather than play aroudn with defending AA. I’ve said what I meant to say.


#13

So AA has “a better success rate” than anything else. But you can’t give me a rate, because with AA there isn’t success?

See I know a little about AA. And you are right, AA never claims “success.” You never get better. And I have to say they are right if only 3 out of 10 actually stop drinking.


#14

Why was this posted in the Vocations forum?

:confused:


#15

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:14, topic:327088"]
Why was this posted in the Vocations forum?

:confused:

[/quote]

:hmmm: :ehh: :bigyikes: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


#16

Hello Again,

I just want to say thank you to users: allhers, Lisa1967,and anonymous in fl, you three were the ONLY ones who posted ON TOPIC helpful responses.

The rest of you had opinionated responses that did no even answer my question. I expected better from a Catholc online community. So much for being a light to the world.

And The Real Junliane…I need to tell you that I posted this in the vocations topic because to live a healthy life is always the present vocation of EVERYONE.


#17

But this forum is not about living a healthy life, it’s about religious vocations.

:shrug:


#18

The Real Juliene…

The definition of vocation includes religious life, singlehood, or marraige. People meet all sorts of stumbling blocks when searching or living out a vocation.

Please stay on topic

Good evening


#19

WOW !! :rolleyes:


#20

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