This is something that has been on my mind lately even though I am 40.
My mom always told me 'Don't marry a man until you see how he interacts with his family. Expecially his mother. If he does not respect his mother, do not marry him'
Well, my mom is in totaly denial about the disfunction in our family.
I don't see the point in going into detail since I am sure a lot of people here have their fare share of experience but in a nut shell, 8 years ago, I had to cut all contact with my brother. He was very abusive and I could no longer take the pain of trying to associate with someone who never saw anything wrong with treating me like a total piece of garbage. I am actually very proud of myself for stopping the abuse.
But it always makes me wonder if ever I meet a man, how will he view me. Would it be a deal breaker. Lord knows I have tried to work it out with my brother but it is useless. I really believe come judgement day, God will understand my decision.
Nonetheless, it hurts to constantly hear 'But CM, he is your brother, you should try to work it out' It hurts that people blame me when my brother insists on being a jerk. When people judge me when it is not my fault. When people totally discredit the fact that I desperately want to have a relationship with my brother but he pushed me into a corner where I had no other choice
Also, my father had more than his fair share of faults. We now get along and are civil but during high school he was horrible. Always in my face about stupid things, breaking promises and pushing my buttons. I always envied my peers who had 'absent fathers' ie fathers that would rather read a newspaper than talk to them, fathers that never bothered to take them places (as opposed to my father who would drag me places I didn't want to be so I couldn't spend time with friends'
Whether I like it or not, it has affected me. I try hard not to take it out on all men, but I am sure some men have probably sensed some hostility at some time or other.
So, my question is, (and please be honest people that is why I am asking). Although, I would never tell anyone this stuff on a first date, it would eventually be apparent. How do men really view this stuff