Hi Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
I have posted before that I was doing a talk on Christians and their Emotions… The night before my talk, something hurtful happened to me. An ex of mine who I’ve been praying for to come back to me msged me asking me to go back with him and that he still loves me. But as the our chat went on, I realized that it wasnt him who was chatting w/ me but was his new gf. (I didnt even know he was seeing anyone.) I spoke to him later and told him what his new girl did and that I wanted him to explain to me why he was still telling me that he has feelings for me a week before while he was already w/ someone else. Anyway to make the story short, he chose her over me.
I feel betrayed and I feel like I was manipulated by the girl and him. What’s worse is that he has been telling me about his monetary problems before and I felt bad so I sent him an ‘allowance’ every month. So now I am just thinking that maybe he used that money to spend it on her. Or maybe he didnt really love me but was after the money.
So the night before my talk, I didn’t get sleep and I actually took 3 huge gulps of cough syrup just so I can sleep but didn’t work. I rose that morning thinking i really couldnt do the talk. I mean who am I to talk about emotions when I can’t even control them myself.
But with a lot of prayer and strength I managed to do my talk. Praise God! I was open about how my difficulties on acting as a Christian and shared what i went through the night before.
Right now, I am still crying and I have a lot of panic attacks. I don’t eat much either, I lack sleep andn I am overwhelmed with jealousy. The girl that he chose over me has a good body. And now I am having trouble looking at my body and accepting it. I feel totally ugly and I feel like it is my fault that our relationship did not work.
So guys I just want to know, what do you do when your heart has just been broken? Do you guys have any advice for me? Thanks!
Your Sister in Christ,