As someone who’s in and out of the scrupulosity’s prison, I am always searching for ways to deal with situations in which I panic over something.
Let me share with you the latest episode I went though, just to give you an idea of where I’m coming from:
This morning, I went to Mass. While receiving the blood of Christ, the “top” rim of the chalice touched my forehead , and while I was walking back to where I was seated, I began to wonder if there had been any drops of blood on that side which then made contact with my forehead. I didn’t feel any liquid, just the metal of the chalice. The agony of not knowing exactly what happened brings about pain I can only describe as excruciating.
I am not asking you for re-assurance here. Here’s my question: how do you deal with situations in which you “freak out” about certain things, as it were? I could use some tips, as I, quite frankly, am sick and tired of this. It’s gone on for way too long and has done a number on my spiritual and mental health. I’m 19 years old and I do not want this to be something that persists for a lifetime.
My thanks for your suggestions.