How do you find a priest to get married?

I was raised a Christian, however, I only ever went to church a handful of times. My boyfriend is pretty much the same but his family is Irish so we want a Catholic wedding. I’m ok with the idea of converting to catholicism. I’ve been really getting into a guy called Father Mike Schmitz on youtube that has really inspired me.
My problem is, I don’t know where to start looking for a priest. Asking family or friends is out of the question because we don’t know anybody that goes to church. My boyfriend, well I suppose my fiance, has made it very clear he wants to make sure they are a good priest. Something about not all Christians are Christians, looking out for Pharisees etc. He used to know a really excellent priest growing up who sadly passed away before I met him and it’s really given him high standards.
We’ve been engaged 8 years now, and I’m getting pretty fed up with waiting… as anybody would be. We made the mistake of having sex before marriage and have a son. Many people have suggested I brake up with him if getting married means that much to me, but I don’t think God would like me to break up the family over something like this! I don’t trust my other half is looking anymore so I’m talking the search on myself. I don’t have a clue where to start, any help is greatly apreciated!

Hello and welcome! I would either:

  1. attend Mass at local parishes and find one that fits, and the priest seems solid. Then inquire about joinig that parish.
  2. call or visit your closest parish.

FYI – this is probably going to be a long process. There’s pre-marital counseling that is required before you can get married in the Church.

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I’ve been waiting 8 years already! I’m patient enough to wait 8 more as long as we eventually get it done haha. But thank you! Will be doing that :slight_smile:

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Also, may I comment that I think you guys are awesome for looking into the Church and getting it done?
Best wishes for your little family!!

Hello, it’s great that you and your boyfriend want to get married in the Church and that you are thinking of converting.

I agree with Jen95’s advice. You really need to find a parish to join and preferably it should be the one that is closest to either you or your boyfriend’s home. Depending on the diocese, Catholics might be assigned to the nearest parish or they might be more free to choose the parish they join.

Also, it’s often possible for a Catholic to marry a baptized Christian non-Catholic in the Catholic Church and then if the spouse wishes to convert they can take care of that after the wedding. It would allow you to get married more quickly and also take care of some issues you might otherwise face if you were trying to go through the conversion process while maintaining an unmarried relationship with your boyfriend.

Please reach out to a priest and discuss with him. It would likely be best if your boyfriend was involved in all of this and could come with you to discuss.

Good luck! Most priests are pretty good at helping with this stuff. It’s not like the nice priest your boyfriend knew was the only good priest on earth and now he’s gone so you have to hunt for another excellent priest.


Well doesn’t anyone in his family go to church? Because you say your bf want to get married in a Catholic Church because of his family.

If you need to find the nearest Catholic church to talk to a priest, go to and look by state and city for a church near you.

“ .My boyfriend, well I suppose my fiance, has made it very clear he wants to make sure they are a good priest.”

This sounds odd from a guy that doesn’t go to mass. There is no point in getting married in church if you are not attending mass, so why not start going on Sundays? Both of you.

^^^^ Unless you are practicing Catholics, a Catholic Priest is not going to marry you. iirc, part of the preparation for the Sacrament of Matrimony is for the Catholic party to go and make a good sincere Confession before being married.

If your fiancé is the Catholic one, he needs to start attending a parish. If he’s interested in returning to the faith, then his part is easier ( make a good confession, then start attending Mass)

Then talk with the parish about arranging the wedding. You could get married before converting to Catholicism.

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