How do you know if HE likes you


#1

Ok gentlemen help us ladies out here with a little advice:

How should a lady determine if a guy likes her?

How should a lady let a guy know she likes him?

Should the lady always let the guy lead and if not how direct should we ladies be?

I’ve always had problems with all 3 issues. I tend to go for guys that don’t care anything for me. Not sure why that’s just how it works out. :eek: I guess I’m not that great at reading the signs. I’m not into chasing guys and won’t make the first move anymore. I’m tired of the brush off. :shrug: How can a lady be sure a guy is interested and not just being socialable or nice. Is it pretty realistic to suppose that if a guy is interested enough he’ll make a move? No one is making a move except a few guys I’m not interested in and they don’t seem to be taking the hint. :rolleyes:


#2

This is a common problem. Don’t sweat it at all.

Guys are simple. Women think we’re complicated, and we like to let them think that. But its not true.

If a guy likes you, he will give some pretty obvious signs.
He’ll either tell you straight out.
Or
He’ll wait a bit, but he’ll try to get to know you. If he spends more time with you than he does his other friends, he likes you. Let’s say you run into each other by coincidence. He’s with his friends at (for example) a mall. Suddenly you show up. If he ditches his friends for a few moments at least, that’s a pretty sure sign.

Now, I reall don’t know how a lady should let a guy know about her feelings. Spending time with him, and pointing out the things you like about him may be good. :shrug:
That’s just what I’ve encountered, and I don’t know for sure if that is what was being communicated.

Leading or not leading will depend on the guy. Some will like you chasing them, others will want to chase you. Just find a place in between first. Meet him halfway sometimes, track him down for others (LOL) and let him come to you as well.
Whichever gets the best response will be the best course of action.

I’m no expert though. Otherwise I’d have a girlfriend by now…lol


#3

Good points. Thanks for your imput. :smiley:


#4

I’ve been married a long time, but I still remember a few things.

You have to let him know you’re approachable. After that let him lead, and just be responsive. If he’s any good, he’ll pick up you like him and go from there.

I use to look for non verbal clues. Does she respond positively when I enter her “space.” Like leaning into say a few words for just her and I. Does she touch me on the arm or shoulders? Brush her hair back when we talk? Smile, and laugh?

In a room or place with several empty chairs, will she take the one closest to me? I’ll be honest, I us to be a big flirt, which my wife of 32 years gently reminds me of on occassion.

Pehaps some of these guys you’ve been flirting with are not available emotionally, not they don’t like ya, but not free to close the deal?

Don’t take such things personally. If you let a guy know you’re open to meeting him, you did your part. Let him see ya checking him out, smile at him. If he comes over, go from there. Might find out he’s a dud, but hey ya gave it a shot, and if he doesn’t come over, not your fault, he just might not have any confidence, and in that case, you prolly don’t wanna date him anyway.


#5

If there’s someone you’re interested in, you’ll probably end up dying an old maid if you won’t take the initiative and get the ball rolling. I think the best thing to do would be to try to get close to someone you’re attracted to by first befriending him and doing things together as friends and slowly building up the courage to go beyond a platonic relationship. This serves two purposes: you get to know him better as a friend, and if he’s a good friend, the relationship would probably be a lot less awkward if you slowly become his girlfriend. I subscribe to the school of thought that teaches that a person’s spouse should also be his or her best friend.

If you’re really clever and you happen to be invited to a wedding and can bring a guest, you could ask your friend to accompany you to the wedding as a date. It’s safe since you’d have the pretense of needing a date to go to a wedding, and it’s not unheard of for a male friend and a female friend to go together to someone else’s wedding for a date.


#6

Good advice I was given: simply wink at him and it should work marvelously… :smiley:


#7

This sounds like a question my 11 year old daughter might ask, but I will try to give ‘adult’ answers - though there may not be a difference.

Toughest question. “If” is not as important as how much. A guy may like you but is not willing to show it or to the extent you think is enough. I think you need to find the guy that is comfortable with you - and vice-versa. Don’t make “like” the first requirement to build a relationship upon.

Tell him. Perhaps not that overtly - but eventually you need to start sending those signals.

It depends on the guy and it depends on the lady. I knew girls that would take the lead and it was refreshing, however I always seemed to like that role. If you are a “leader” girl, you just need to find a “follower” guy.

The most important thing is to be yourself and pray the guy is being himself.


#8

AW!! I gave that advice!! I can’t believe I forgot about it!!

Its good advice, ain’t it?

Has it worked yet?:smiley:


#9

(1) Men spend money and time on the things that they WANT to spend money and time on. If they are spending either on you, they are interested. If they are not, don’t rationalize… just accept that he’s not interested.

(2) Guys aren’t complicated. If you are nice to them, smile, talk to them, and generally treat them like a person-- that’s all you need to do.

(3) No. Don’t chase men. You will only catch the ones that are bad news.


#10

haha, currently it’s N/A for me…hopefully the OP has better luck.


#11

Also what 1ke said…man she’s good!


#12

The only one I agree with here is the second one. It’s unwise to spend money to win the affections of a girl, and not all boys have the self-confidence to pursue girls.


#13

I have got to agree with all these points.

Yes, men wqill spend time or money on the things we are interested. But man are also capable of being interested in many things simultaneously. So if he wants to spend a little time with you this weekend, but next week he is busy golfing, working in his shop or recovering from knee surgery and wants to be left alone, that does not mean he is not interested in you. It just means he has other interests.

In fact, I will go so far as to say that a man who has dropped all his other interests and is essentially devoting 100% of his free time to you is probably not a guy you should spend time with. We all need a balanced life.

I should that while a decent man will have many interests, he would only be interested in one woman at a time.

Yes, men do tend to be more simple and straightforward than women. Men tend to tacle things head-on rather than look around for the side door.

I would like to add my own comment to 1ke’s list.

  1. From a man’s perspective, the only women who chase a man are bad news. At least, that has been experience.

#14

I can see I must clarify.

(1) I said either money or time. Not necessarily both. And, when I said “spend money” I didn’t mean “buy her a condo”. I meant, a cup of coffee, a movie, a meal-- something to which you do not go “dutch”.

(2) Boys that do not have the self-confidence to pursue girls-- meaning not even ask them to go for a coffee, can I get your phone number, maybe we could get together sometime… that sort of thing… not “stalker” type of pursuing with flowers and love letters-- are not good candidates for dating and marriage. They need some more time in the kiln.

And I agree with rpp that 100% is too much, and having a golf date with the buddies doesn’t mean he is ignoring you… and that women who chase men are bad news.


#15

aw that’s too bad. Well, hopefully you’re right.


#16

I definitely agree with 1ke’s opinion. In my experience, this is how it works:

[LIST]
*]You have a friend / acquaintance that you are interested in, but you don’t know if he likes you. You smile at him a little longer than your other male friends (without being creepy) and continue to be your usual charming self. Allow hints of your appreciation of him to show, but don’t ooze at him. Talking him up to friends (without resorting to grade-school “ask his friend if he likes me” tactics) increases the chances that he’ll catch on.

*]If he likes you, he’ll definitely be getting positive vibes from you, even if he’s not sure you’re interested. You’ve cleared a path for him to ask. The next move is his.

*]If he doesn’t make a move, it’s most likely because he has a good reason not to. Maybe he has a thing for someone else. Maybe he doesn’t feel ready to be dating anyone. Maybe there’s a significant reason why he couldn’t date you. Maybe he just isn’t interested enough.

*]If he hasn’t made a move for a significant period of time (say, six months) DON’T pursue him. He’s had plenty of time to think about your interest, and he’s obviously decided not to do anything about it. If you pursue and win him, that reluctance to date you will come out in other areas - maybe he’ll ditch you to hang out with friends all the time, or maybe he’ll go for days without calling you.

*]After about six months of sending positive vibes out at him, it’s time to give up and move on. Realize that he’s probably never going to ask you, and focus your energy on something else.
[/LIST]


#17

agree with this advice. Especially on #3.

I will also add that becoming friends with men, can often lead to deeper relationships, if there seems to be chemistry, and mutual moral ground that two people share. Then, no one is left being ‘brushed off,’ or rejected…just something else to add.


#18

Yes I’m interested in a friend but he’s never made a move (I’m hoping because I’ve been involved with others or too busy for a relationship the last year or so) The last few times I’ve seen him I’ve realized what good chemistry we have in the things that matter. I know he likes me as a person I’m just not sure he would be interested in more then friendship and I’m sort of afraid to rock the boat and risk making things awkward. :shrug:


#19

Yes, then just enjoy the relationship as it is. Although he may be thinking the same thing as you–not wanted to rock the boat. lol That would be funny, no? If he was thinking the same thing…and you both stay idle, waiting for the other to make a move. Just be patient…and see where this friendship leads. I know it’s easier said than done (the patience part):o


#20

I don’t know about other guys, but if I liked a girl, I’d just tell her.

Personally, I prefer that she just tells me.

There is no set rule. Go with whatever you’re comfortable with.

As you can see, I’m not into playing games. I like to be direct, so that that way, there’s a lot less chance for any misunderstanding.

Hope this helps!


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