How do you know the difference between excitement/attraction and arousal?


#1

How do I know the difference between being excited about something or attracted to someone and being sexually aroused?


#2

Sexual arousal specifically means your body starts to prepare itself for sex. Females get wet, males get an erection. In both of them the blood pressure and heart rate increase.

When you are attracted to someone, or excited about someone, arousal usually happens when you are near them or sometimes even when you just see them.

Excitement/attraction is a feeling towards a person… arousal is your body’s physical response to those feelings.

Does that make sense?


#3

Thank you, it does help! But, I'm still a little worried. Isn't it normal for your heart to beat and blood pressure to rise when you like someone? I guess my bigger question is, at what point is it a sin and considered lust?


#4

[quote="Nickname_Sam, post:3, topic:328283"]
Thank you, it does help! But, I'm still a little worried. Isn't it normal for your heart to beat and blood pressure to rise when you like someone?

[/quote]

Of course it's normal. Isn't that what I was alluding to? :)

I guess my bigger question is, at what point is it a sin and considered lust?

Lust is when you stop seeing someone as a whole person and begin to see them as an object to be used and abused. Viewing pornography is a good example of lust because you're only using those women for your own selfish gratification rather than seeing them as someone's sister/daughter/mother.


#5

I meet a lot of people in my work. Maybe one out 500 women begin to arouse me. That is, my body responds to them. Some of these women are married. I see the ring on their finger. I don’t think that my sexual arousal is sinful. For one thing, there is no intention or will involved. I look at them, they appeal to me, and then in few cases, my body gets aroused. While all of that happens, I would say that “sin is crouching at the door”, but I’m the master of my will.

Sometimes, I watch a married and beautiful woman walk away. She looks good. Very nice. I wonder “Am i looking after this woman in lust” and therefore committing adultery with her in my heart? The answer is no. I do not want to sleep with her. She is married and both God and I disapprove of that behavior. There is a line. You know when you cross it because you’re not just looking at a pretty flower any more. Lust is deeper. You want to touch and be touched. You want to taste and feel. Possibilities, fantasies, things spring into mind. You want to have a connection when you look in her eyes. Deep down you want it to be real. Available. Possible.


#6

[quote="JamesATyler, post:5, topic:328283"]
I meet a lot of people in my work. Maybe one out 500 women begin to arouse me. That is, my body responds to them. Some of these women are married. I see the ring on their finger. I don't think that my sexual arousal is sinful. For one thing, there is no intention or will involved. I look at them, they appeal to me, and then in few cases, my body gets aroused. While all of that happens, I would say that "sin is crouching at the door", but I'm the master of my will.

Sometimes, I watch a married and beautiful woman walk away. She looks good. Very nice. I wonder "Am i looking after this woman in lust" and therefore committing adultery with her in my heart? The answer is no. I do not want to sleep with her. She is married and both God and I disapprove of that behavior. There is a line. You know when you cross it because you're not just looking at a pretty flower any more. Lust is deeper. You want to touch and be touched. You want to taste and feel. Possibilities, fantasies, things spring into mind. You want to have a connection when you look in her eyes. Deep down you want it to be real. Available. Possible.

[/quote]

That doesn't make a lot of sense to me, since it's also possible to lust after people who are, in fact, available. :ehh:


#7

It is not about their relationship status. Lust is about what you want. Sure you can lust a single person but that’s not adultery. I was using adultery as an example.

To the OP. You might see a single woman that is beautiful and you might want to look at her. That’s not lust. Maybe you go up and talk to her. You feel your body responding. Your getting aroused. This doesn’t necessarily mean you are lusting her. That’s called chemistry…

You can stand and talk to a beautiful woman that’s pleasing to the eye but not have any chemistry with her. One of the things you are looking for when you are seeking a mate is someone you *share *good chemistry with. That is, you both physically respond to one another.


#8

[quote="JamesATyler, post:7, topic:328283"]
It is not about their relationship status. Lust is about what you want. Sure you can lust a single person but that's not adultery. I was using adultery as an example.

[/quote]

OK, I see. Thanks.


#9

[quote="JamesATyler, post:5, topic:328283"]
I meet a lot of people in my work. Maybe one out 500 women begin to arouse me. That is, my body responds to them. Some of these women are married. I see the ring on their finger. I don't think that my sexual arousal is sinful. For one thing, there is no intention or will involved. I look at them, they appeal to me, and then in few cases, my body gets aroused. While all of that happens, I would say that "sin is crouching at the door", but I'm the master of my will.

[/quote]

What you describe above, in and of itself, is not a sin.

Sometimes, I watch a married and beautiful woman walk away. She looks good. Very nice. I wonder "Am i looking after this woman in lust" and therefore committing adultery with her in my heart? The answer is no. I do not want to sleep with her. She is married and both God and I disapprove of that behavior. There is a line. You know when you cross it because you're not just looking at a pretty flower any more. Lust is deeper. You want to touch and be touched. You want to taste and feel. Possibilities, fantasies, things spring into mind. You want to have a connection when you look in her eyes. Deep down you want it to be real. Available. Possible.

...You're making this way more complicated than it needs to be. :hypno:


#10

[quote="JamesATyler, post:5, topic:328283"]
I meet a lot of people in my work. Maybe one out 500 women begin to arouse me. That is, my body responds to them. Some of these women are married. I see the ring on their finger. I don't think that my sexual arousal is sinful. For one thing, there is no intention or will involved. I look at them, they appeal to me, and then in few cases, my body gets aroused. While all of that happens, I would say that "sin is crouching at the door", but I'm the master of my will.

[/quote]

OK, but if you didn't ever have those feelings then you might not want to marry, and if you don't want to marry then you probably won't, and if you don't, then, well... it's perfectly fine if you don't, but it wouldn't be fine if everyone didn't, thus the use of the word 'sin'...I'm not sure.


#11

[quote="JamesATyler, post:5, topic:328283"]
I meet a lot of people in my work. Maybe one out 500 women begin to arouse me. That is, my body responds to them. Some of these women are married. I see the ring on their finger. I don't think that my sexual arousal is sinful. For one thing, there is no intention or will involved. I look at them, they appeal to me, and then in few cases, my body gets aroused. While all of that happens, I would say that "sin is crouching at the door", but I'm the master of my will.

[/quote]

Think about it. Sin crouches at every door. But if you're prepared, it is no greater threat than an ant on the footpath, not a lion. The potential for sin exists everywhere. That's life.


#12

[quote="Rau, post:11, topic:328283"]
Think about it. Sin crouches at every door. But if you're prepared, it is no greater threat than an ant on the footpath, not a lion. The potential for sin exists everywhere. That's life.

[/quote]

:thumbsup:

Yep. There is nothing inherently dirty about sexuality.


#13

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