I have something that has been harvesting in my mind forever. How do you know when The Lord is trying to lead you to what he wants you to do in life? Does he show signs?
I’ll give a little background.
I’m a mother to four, myself and my husband have been going through ups and downs as far as getting settled. We are unable to purchase a home so we have had to bounce around quite a bit. Add that stress to the stress of everyday living and my anxiety and panic disorder, having more children is te furthest thing from our minds. None of our children were “planned” they were avoided, if you will. However, they’re here and we love them more than anything.
Whenever I try to go to school or work, something bad happens and causes me to have to drop out of college, or I get fired. And then I would get pregnant again. It was kind of like, “stop trying to do that, you belong here”
Which is a bittersweet feeling, as much as I love being a mom, I feel like I can never fully enjoy it because of my panic disorder and our moving situation. Which makes the disorder worse.
So my question is, given the circumstances, is it possible that this is his will and plan for me? To be a homemaker and have children and run the household? Or do I need to just push harder to make something more of myself and help my husband?