I’ve been married to my husband for almost 4 years and we have a 3-year-old son together. We currently live in a small townhouse and would like to relocate.
I love the state we live in. Family (both mine and his) are close by, I’ve lived here all my life (hardly ever been away from my family, not even for college), and the local Catholic schools are really good. My husband and I both have good jobs, but he is looking to advance in his career, which he says he can’t do in this area without commuting an hour each way in traffic. He hates the fact that traffic is so heavy and that the area is fairly populated.
He raised the issue of moving in a few years. We’d be able to have a bigger house, more room for the kid(s), etc. He’s expecting to advance in his career in a less-populated area; I would likely be able to telecommute. We’ve been looking at houses about 12 hours away by car.
My mother is very upset that she wouldn’t be able to see her grandchild several times a week, and says that since I and my brother didn’t grow up with our grandparents nearby, we’d be doing the same thing to our son by him not seeing his grandparents frequently. The difference, though, is that my parents/grandparents were very poor and couldn’t afford to travel; there would be opportunities for frequent travel.
My mom seems to think that moving so far away is more my husband’s idea than mine, and she thinks he’s controlling things. Of course, if it were just me and my son, I’d probably stay in the local area, but it’s not just my needs to consider. She says that the husband is supposed to do what the wife wants, and if the wife ain’t happy, no one’s happy.
My questions are: is there any truth to this? Should the husband always please his wife with her wants? If you’ve moved away from family, how did you know it was time to leave/what caused you to relocate?
Thanks for reading!