I’m a 20 (nearly 21) year old female. I’m currently in the third year of a four year university degree. I live at home with my parents. And I’ve yet to have had a boyfriend…
When I was in high school, I was the girl that none of the boys were interested in. I wasn’t very attractive, I was sort of a geek, and besides, I knew that I didn’t want to get into a “serious” dating relationship when I was in school. For one thing, I’d be nowhere near getting married. Since starting university, I’ve met a lot of great Catholic guys at the university chaplaincy! Unfortunately, all of them so far have either been in relationships, or not interested in me.
But, in the last few months, I was asked out for the first time ever, by someone I’d met at a social group. We went on one “date” as friends first, but we just didn’t click, which was fine. Then, just a few weeks later, another guy from the same group said that although he felt he was too old for me (27), he thought I was a really great young woman…and that he thought I was cute :shrug:
Anyway, I started to wonder if maybe my days of being the girl always left on the shelf, so to speak, were coming to an end, and that maybe this was a sign that guys were becoming interested in me for the first time. Kind of like an ugly duckling, but with less feathers.
I’m currently praying a novena to St Raphael. Now, I’m not expecting my future husband to waltz into my life on Day 10, but I feel like I should be praying for extra guidance on the subject right now.
But…I wonder how I know if I’m ready for dating (or courtship, to be more precise)? I guess the right time would be, when I feel I’m ready for marriage in the near future. I only have a year of my course left, two if I take a postgraduate course, and I can’t help but think that I don’t want to wait too long after leaving university to get married (when I was younger, I saw myself marrying aged 24-25, but maybe that was a little optimistic). I don’t think I’d get married whilst at university, though. But I think there’d need to be a year or more of dating before I got married anyway, so that’s probably not an issue.
I guess my real concern is whether I’m emotionally ready for it all. How can you tell? When I think about what happens when you’re married, generally I imagine it’d be different, and there’d be a learning curve involved, but that there’d be nothing major that I couldn’t do. For example, I guess everyone worries about “Am I ready to be a parent?” but I’m fairly sure that newly-married couples worry about that, too.
Does anyone have any advice? Is it mostly a matter of putting the question to prayer?
(Obviously, this is all about what to do in the meantime while I’m waiting for some other guy to be interested in me…it might take a while )