How do you make your husband feel like a man?


#1

Hi! My husband is going through a really rough time right now. He just has way to much on his plate and is really stressed out. Plus, he is a high school teacher so he is dealing with a lot of disrespectful kids all day long. I really want him to be able to come home to peace and rest and regain a sense of manhood from home, but I feel like I have not been able to accomplish that!
I try to cook dinner for him, get up with him to pack his lunches, etc to show him that I love him, but these aren’t enough. I have to admit that it hasn’t helped that we are both working two jobs and our schedules have been somewhat in conflict. I am quitting one of the jobs so that I can be home more when he is there!
I need some more ideas for how to rebuild the respect that he needs that is absent from his daily work! Please help!!!
Oh, if anyone has ideas for budget lunches that are a change up from hamburgers, I would love to hear them!


#2

Marital relations might help.

Another way is to do something special for him, like a candle lit dinner for the two of you, and telling him that he is very manly and handsome and you love him with all your heart.

Sandwiches are yummy! Like turkey, lettue, and tomatoe.


#3

Dang I’d like to help, but I’d prolly get in trouble with the stuff that does it for me. :blushing:


#4

Hi :slight_smile:

You have to know how he feels love the most and then focus on filling his love tank.

Does he feel loved from you most by acts of service? Or by gifts? Words of affirmation? Physical touch? Quality time? A combination of those things?

Since you mentioned respect a few times maybe he needs to be affirmed right now. I know that for me personally words of affirmation is not my love language. However, being disrespected really torques my chain. Pray for him and then maybe at dinner or before sleep tell him you did and tell him what you prayed for him. Then say another prayer for him out loud before you go to sleep. Just from personal experience, when my wife prays for me it is very, very uplifting.


#5

Oh, my husband and I play cribbage all the time. He loves it! I have been winning somewhat consistently lately… should I play a little less well?:thumbsup:


#6

No! Play your very best. Just play BamaRider Rules Cribbage. Lose a hand; drop an article of clothing. hubba-hubba Now that’s stress relieving card playing.


#7

Gratitude… thank him for busting his butt to support the family. Thank him for being a good father and point out a recent, concrete example of something you noticed. Tell him you appreciate him choosing to spend his energy and dedicate his life to taking care of his family.

I do this with my DH occasionally even when he might not need it, and step up the frequency when he needs a boost. One thing I make sure to tell him is what a gem he is compared to most men today. He is a faithful husband, a dedicated and involved father, and a strong man of faith, by choice, in a culture that actively discourages all those things.


#8

:smiley: Both people win in that game!


#9

#10

My DH takes leftovers from our dinners for lunch. We freeze individual portions, which not only keeps it fresh but makes it so even soup won’t leak in his bag on the way in to work. He has access to a fridge and a microwave, so he just nukes his lunch every day.


#11

Put love notes in his lunch…e-mail him little notes that say I love you…fix his favorite dinner…clean out his car and make sure the gas tank is full…give him a back rub…tell him how you feel about him! Flirt with him the same way you did when you were dating…There are lots of things you can do, just think about what your husband likes…if he likes sports, sit and snuggle with him while he watches a game…if he likes to read, buy him a new book…I’m sure you know one thing that makes him feel like a man ;):smiley:


#12

What is HIS love language?

Here are some quick tests…

fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html

afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp


#13

Some men like to hear compliments on their accomplishments. My husband did a fabulous job on the outside lights for Christmas…and I think he just LOVES that dd and I go out every single night since he’s put them up, to just stare in awe at the job he’s done. I KNOW that makes him feel good. :love: I think if you are enthusiastic that he is a good provider…that he is an awesome husband…and so on …he will begin (hopefully) to feel less stressed. I’m not sure if a man being stressed out is the same as not feeling manly. I sense in your post, OP, that he feels more stressed than anything. That, coupled with the kids not respecting him, might be a recipe for serious stress. I hope that you both have a stress free and holy Christmas!http://www.rolandchayer.com/TheVanKarenLife/style_emoticons/RolandChayer-Smileys/RolandChayer-ChristmasTreeSmiley.gif


#14

Yeah, complements work very well like telling him how good looking and manly he is…and maybe some beer.


#15

Great replies so far :slight_smile: I’d say one of the best ways I know to make my husband feel like a man is to let him know I still want him and need him. Sexually and otherwise! I make eyes at him a few times a day, tell him how lucky I am to have found such a great MAN for myself, admire his strong arm muscles, etc. Some of it’s just plain silly, but he loves it. I let him know on a regular basis how protected and cared for he makes me feel. All these things tell him how much I love and respect his masculinity.

I agree with those who advise finding out what your husband’s love language is and speaking to him in it. Have fun! :wink:

Lauren


#16

Some how this thread reminds me of that 80s song “Funky Cold Medina”

As I read these posts the song is in the background?

I bet none of y’all even remember *that *song.

But if ya do then know what to do, just slip some of that in his tea, and y’all will be good to go. :cool:


#17

LOL! That would work for my DH! :thumbsup:


#18

Thank you everyone for your imput! You have been extremely helpful! I know that a lot of it is stress and that hopefully after this week things will be a little easier, at least for Christmas! I just really want to be the safe haven he can come home to and know that he is the king!!!
Thank you for all of your lunch ideas. I have tried leftovers, but honestly, he doesn’t want to deal with them. And he eats ALOT!!! I’m just going to have to get super creative!
Thank you again and God bless you all!!!:slight_smile:


#19

Plus, he is a high school teacher so he is dealing with a lot of disrespectful kids all day long.

It takes a real man to be a HS teacher. Tell him so! Be proud of him for putting up with the BS, and tell him so!

There are a lot of things we can take for granted are the man’s job. I try to remember to thank my DH for those things - taking out the trash, changing light bulbs, etc. I try to thank him, sincerely, whenever he does anything for me, like bringing me a soda.

Lately, I’ve added thanking him for going to work every day. And mentioning what a good son he is to his mother.

We all have a tendancy to think our loved ones know this by osmosis. But no - we don’t have ESP.

As for lunches, My DH likes those Yakasobi things, and the instant ramen noodles, and they’re pretty cheap. I’ve also put together sandwich kits: two slices of bread with mayo and/or mustard between them, in a bag, with the meat and lettuce in their own bags. That way the bread does not get soggy while sitting in the fridge. You can put the kits together the night before.

God bless you,

Ruthie


#20

:smiley: Find a picture of a really ugly old man and post a sticky note on it, put it in his lunch bag telling him you are so glad he is a REAL man. Tell him he is handsome and sexy. Tell him you don’t know what life would be like without him. Tell him you appreciate all he does for you and he makes you feel like a REAL women. Say you love him and can’t wait until he gets home. (can you see the look on his face in the teachers lounge)

Then have a surprise waiting for him when he gets home, his favorite beer or drink or dinner, special desert, you get my drift.
After he gets a chance to relax from the day come out with another surprise, a sexy dress or whatever (change your haircolor or style) than give him an incredible back rub, yada yada yada. Hubba Hubba Hubba.
He will forget all about the work day. Pick a friday so that the effect of this last all week-end. He will walk into class on Monday with a renewed spirit.

Good luck and Merry Christmas.


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