How do you survive after you learned that your daughter is homosexual?


I am a strong conservative Catholic, also was her. She is 20 and her father told me a week ago. I feel rejection, pain, sorrow. I can’t accept this immorality. How do I move on I do not even want to talk or see her anymore. I need help


Worriedmother - I’m so sorry for what you are going through. Since your daughter is only 20 and this is so sudden, she could just be going through a phase. It is not uncommon for females this age to lose their footing and “experiement.” There is hope for her, many people, saints including have been pulled back from similar sin. Saying a prayer for her.


I would start by contacting the Catholic group Courage, which ministers to those Catholics suffering from same-sex attraction. They have a ministry for relatives of those with SSA called Encourage. They will probably be better equipped to help you than most of us here. You and your family are in my prayers.


She will really need your love and prayers more than ever. If you can, have a talk with her and do lots of listening. Tell her you love her and don’t want to see her heading down the wrong path. Homosexuals suffer from lots of problems in their lives. Educate yourself. Finally, pray some more. Prayer is our most powerful weapon.
But don’t cut her out of your life.


Hello worriedmother!

First, you say you feel rejection. I would like to tell you that your daughter did not choose to reject you nor the education that you gave her. It is not clear yet in the medical world whether you are born homosexual or you become one, but one thing for sure, your daughter did not CHOOSE to be gay. It’s not something that she decided.

Second, I understand that you’re shocked and hurt. It’s normal. It’s a big revelation and a big change in your life. However, it doesn’t mean that everything will change! Your daughter is still your daughter. She needs your love more than ever. Being gay is not a disease: gay people are normal people. They’re just like us. You can be gay AND a Catholic. Jesus loves your daughter with all his heart like he loves all of us.

I will pray for you, for your family and for your daughter. May God help you! :slight_smile:


Second to encourage you to contact Encourage.


You love her unconditionally but also make it clear you do not approve of her lifestyle. You also pray for her unceasingly

To be honest once you get past the initial awkwardness it is not a major issue UNLESS she chooses to make it one. She shoul d not expect you to accept her “partner” as anything other than her friend and respect you enough to not engage in overt signs of affection with her partner in your presence.


{{{hugs}}} and prayers of peace for you. What strikes me first is that she is still your daughter. She is still that innocent little girl you rocked to sleep and saw off to school on her first day. You still have all the same history and experiences with her. None of that has left you. Try to concentrate on that when you think of her. She is still the same girl she was the day before you knew her sexual preference (if this is indeed her path, it very well may be, like was mentioned, an experiment).

Ask St. Monica for support. Don’t let what may be an immature decision permanently scar your relationship.


There is nothing that you can do except accepting your daughter for what she is. Homosexuality is not a choice that one makes it is merely how they were born. Your daughter was born gay and your not accepting this will do nothing but alienate her.


In your opinion but of course there is nothing to back up your opinion. Being this is a Catholic Forum your adivce is highly inapropriate.


That’s rubbish. There is anecdotal evidence that suggest women can kid themselves into being lesbian due to a bad experience with or mistrust of men. Maybe this girl has had a bad experience with someone which makes her feel her own gender will be a ‘safer option’.

You aren’t born gay. That’s nonsense. I could start wearing pink shirts and act like a girl, call myself gay and claim to be oppressed by anyone that doesn’t employ me (hmm actually that doesn’t sound like a bad plan!) but that doesn’t make me gay, indeed the thought of being gay disgusts me.


I have many friends who are gay who all claim that they were born that way. Please support your point now.


Ancedotal evidence proves nothing. If I retort that i have many friends who are homosexual and they claim they do it soley by choice would you accept that as a valid argument?

At any rate this thread is getting quickly hijacked. The OP asked for advice from a Catholic Viewpoint-a viewpoint you obviusly do not share


I am in a similar predictament. I’ll be praying for you. I would suggest several things:
Don’t cut off relations with her. Don’t do anything rash.
Pray very hard for her. She is in very grave danger if practicing homosexual acts. She will need all the help she can get to escape that lifestyle and thought patterns.
Get yourself some education on the issues involved and some support.
Trust in Our Father. He loves her more than you do and desires her restoration to Himself.


Oh really, the only parts of the bible which condemn homosexuality are in Leviticus. Which Catholics do not really seem to follow. Last time I checked, Catholics had no problem with eating pork or shellfish, don’t celebrate Yom Kippur, and are allowed to shave their faces.


Please do not hijack this thread any further. Start a new thread if you want to tal about the Scriptural Basis for condeming homosexual behavior.


Where do you live with all these gay people? Homosexuals are in the minority despite what their campaigns may suggest.

Think about it, if homosexuals were a majority the human race would die out. :wink:


I am not trying to hijack this thread. I am merely informing this mother that there is no problem with her daughter and that what her daughter is doing is perfectly natural and acceptable. You are the one who is contesting me and changing the direction of the thread.


I live in an area where people are accepting towards other people and gay people are open about what they are.

Think about it, if homophobes were the majority homosexuals would try to hide their sexuality from others.:wink:


Do you think it’s possible homophobia is a genetic trait induced to ensure survival of the species? :wink:

If everyone was homosexual there would be no reproduction and civilisation would end. :wink:

There’s also the matter of HIV as nature’s way of eliminating people with the abovementioned disorder. :wink:

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit