How family dieting ruins my spirituality


#1

Hello,

My family – my mom, my dad, and (residually) me – is on a diet - the whole Weight Watchers point diet, for those of you who know your diets. :wink: We need to be on this diet for a number of reasons: 1.) my mom seriously needs to lose her stomach, and so does my dad since heart-attacks run in his side of the family, 2.) I’m no small thing myself, but I’m not obese – I’m tall and carry the weight well enough, It hink, and 3.) winter is coming, which allows for more sedentary activity.

So, today is my birthday (Happy birthday, me! Yay!) and I stopped by Arby’s for a couple of roast beef sandwiches and fries. And I’m sitting there eating, enjoying my birthday lunch which I purchased for myself, then I begin to feel guilty. I begin to wonder if by buying *two *roast beef sandwiches I’m somehow succumbing to gluttony, and so I begin analyzing why I bought *two *instead of one. “Okay, it’s my birthday, and I like Arby’s, and I like their roast beef sandwiches, and I really couldn’t make up my mind what I wanted…” I’m trying to justify my decision. And then I begin to wonder if having this lunch which definitely exceeds dietary limitations for the day is somehow rebellious towards God or my parents. :confused:

I don’t need this!!! :mad: I’m *just now * beginning to handle scrupulosity in my spiritual life, and just now beginning to work through some pride issues (which I’ve posted about before) and some issues regarding actual rebellion – and now I have to worry about staying on target with “my points” or else I risk getting fussed or that accusing “Oh! How many points was that?” statement"…just like what happened only a minute ago and which prompted this post. I truly, honestly *hate *when my parents go on diets because both of them are scrupulous when it comes to dieting! They are so regimental! And there’s always accusing statements if someone “cheats.” They read that stupid Weight Watchers “Point Guide” (which lists how many “points” a certain food contains) more than any decent piece of literature, much less the Bible!

:banghead:

But I need to support my mom, at the least. I need to help her lose that weight. It’s just that - sigh - she probably won’t stick with this diet like all the others, and when she quits, I’ll be glad because it means that this regimental activity will quit and there won’t be any accussing “Ohs” or other statements when someone cheats. And it’s my birthday, for crying out loud!!! Am I supposed to not enjoy my day when, come their own birthday, when they most likely will no longer be on this diet, they get to enjoy what they want!!!

Lord, forgive me – but I’m pissed off :mad: and I really don’t want to go to confession for something this stupid!


#2

Epistemes… first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!:thumbsup: :cake: May you have many more!

I can only offer my humble opinion, but yep… it sounds like you have a BAD case of scruples going here (voice of experience speaking :o). You’re worried about letting your parents down, by not sticking to the WW diet. Which invites the question… WHY are you ON this diet in the first place? You say, that you’re not overweight. So… are you on this diet just to please your parents? Did they ask you to join it, too? I’m not sure of your age… if you’re a teen, and they’ve put you on this diet, for your health or what. If you can get to Arby’s alone, though… you’re probably old enough to be responsible for your own diet.

I think the 4th Commandment… “Honor thy father and thy mother” was more concerned with how you relate to them… as their child. We must be obedient to them, as children and teens (morals, rules of their home, etc.). And later, we must care for them… in their old age. And further, how we relate to ALL elderly people in our society. I doubt that Our Good Lord is going to be angry… because you treated yourself to a special birthday lunch.

As to the number of sandwiches you ate… well, again… it’s your birthday. Worrying about that, is sort of like worrying about eating a piece of birthday cake. It’s not like you make a habit out of it… right? God made food delicious, and it’s not a sin to enjoy it… in moderation.

I hope this helps, in some way. God bless you.


#3

As someone who has been very successful at WW - lost 57 lbs - I can tell you that one does not “go off” the diet. In fact it is not a diet but a new way of eating that should last a lifetime thorugh maintaince. WHen I stopped counting points I gained weight. The good thing about WW is that it teaches you a good healthy way of eating without having to deny yourself, you just don’t over eat and you are made to take responsibility for what you eat.

If you are not on WW then why should you feel guilty about eating foods the way you want to? Perhaps you feel guilty because you think you too should be losing weight or that you will dissapoint your parents.

Being on WW has helped my spirituality because it made me aware of how much I was eating and how little others have to eat. I also started volunteering in a soup kitchen which really makes a connection between my eating less and becoming aware of the plight of the poor and hungry.


#4

As someone who has been very successful at WW - lost 57 lbs - I can tell you that one does not “go off” the diet. In fact it is not a diet but a new way of eating that should last a lifetime thorugh maintaince. WHen I stopped counting points I gained weight. The good thing about WW is that it teaches you a good healthy way of eating without having to deny yourself, you just don’t over eat and you are made to take responsibility for what you eat.

If you are not on WW then why should you feel guilty about eating foods the way you want to? Perhaps you feel guilty because you think you too should be losing weight or that you will dissapoint your parents.

Being on WW has helped my spirituality because it made me aware of how much I was eating and how little others have to eat. I also started volunteering in a soup kitchen which really makes a connection between my eating less and becoming aware of the plight of the poor and hungry.


#5

I’m doing WW, tomorrow is my b-day, and I treated myself to coffee and a scone this morning.

Happy Birthday :slight_smile:


#6

Epistemes,

Be patient with yourself, and trust God to help you grow closer to Him. In one of Brother Lawrence’s letters from Practicing the Presence of God, he comments on someone who would like to “go faster than grace” and become holy overnight.

This takes time. It is unlikely that this early in your journey you are going to be freed of an imperfection such as choosing two Arby’s all roast beef sandwiches instead of one. :wink:

Do what you can do and let God handle the rest. I suggest when you notice those scrupulous thoughts that make you want to just throw up your hands and say “forget this,” to say the prayer of St. Faustina, “Jesus, I trust in You.” Eventually, you will.


#7

Dear heart, please don’t beat yourself up. It took time to cultivate bad eating habits and it will take time to cultivate good ones. Weight Watchers is great - everyone I know who does it and sticks with it loses weight and keeps it off. I wish my boss would go on it. She has all kinds of trouble with her knees, her back etc and I know they are caused by excess weight. She can’t even walk a half mile without pain.


#8

Dear OP - Has your gluttony become mortal or are you stuck with trying to find a gluten free host to mascerate? I have no idea where that is, but you could beg Jesus to remove you glottony. If you go to Mass after Confession and need to, try finding a Mass where they offer the cup as well. Then receive Him in the Blood.

Peace,

Gail


#9

When I lost the weight I also lost a whole bunch of physical disorders…knee pain, arthritis, shortness of breath, snoring, lower cholestoral, foot pain, stomach ailments, fatigue. It was amazing how all that just stopped. The only problem that I do have from changing my eating habits is low iron, since I very rarely eat red meat anymore, but I take iron pills for that.


#10

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