My family – my mom, my dad, and (residually) me – is on a diet - the whole Weight Watchers point diet, for those of you who know your diets. We need to be on this diet for a number of reasons: 1.) my mom seriously needs to lose her stomach, and so does my dad since heart-attacks run in his side of the family, 2.) I’m no small thing myself, but I’m not obese – I’m tall and carry the weight well enough, It hink, and 3.) winter is coming, which allows for more sedentary activity.
So, today is my birthday (Happy birthday, me! Yay!) and I stopped by Arby’s for a couple of roast beef sandwiches and fries. And I’m sitting there eating, enjoying my birthday lunch which I purchased for myself, then I begin to feel guilty. I begin to wonder if by buying *two *roast beef sandwiches I’m somehow succumbing to gluttony, and so I begin analyzing why I bought *two *instead of one. “Okay, it’s my birthday, and I like Arby’s, and I like their roast beef sandwiches, and I really couldn’t make up my mind what I wanted…” I’m trying to justify my decision. And then I begin to wonder if having this lunch which definitely exceeds dietary limitations for the day is somehow rebellious towards God or my parents.
I don’t need this!!! :mad: I’m *just now * beginning to handle scrupulosity in my spiritual life, and just now beginning to work through some pride issues (which I’ve posted about before) and some issues regarding actual rebellion – and now I have to worry about staying on target with “my points” or else I risk getting fussed or that accusing “Oh! How many points was that?” statement"…just like what happened only a minute ago and which prompted this post. I truly, honestly *hate *when my parents go on diets because both of them are scrupulous when it comes to dieting! They are so regimental! And there’s always accusing statements if someone “cheats.” They read that stupid Weight Watchers “Point Guide” (which lists how many “points” a certain food contains) more than any decent piece of literature, much less the Bible!
But I need to support my mom, at the least. I need to help her lose that weight. It’s just that - sigh - she probably won’t stick with this diet like all the others, and when she quits, I’ll be glad because it means that this regimental activity will quit and there won’t be any accussing “Ohs” or other statements when someone cheats. And it’s my birthday, for crying out loud!!! Am I supposed to not enjoy my day when, come their own birthday, when they most likely will no longer be on this diet, they get to enjoy what they want!!!
Lord, forgive me – but I’m pissed off :mad: and I really don’t want to go to confession for something this stupid!