How has abortion affected you?


#1

43% of women under age 45 have had at least one abortion in the US (Planned Parenthood statistics). Planned Parenthood (and the American Psychiatric Association) are describing abortion as a safe medical procedure with virtually no side effects on the physical and emotional levels. Now that is the rhetoric but let's bring a little experience here.

If you are a mother, a father, a grandparent, a sibling, a friend, a health care professional... touched by abortion, please share your thoughts. The goal of this thread is:

1/ to help those who are confused or hurting
2/ to share healing experiences and encourage one another
3/ to educate those who have not experienced abortion
4/ to educate those who have a "right to choose" only approach to abortion

Reminder: Abortion, in Pope Benedict's own words is an intrinsic evil which means it can never be morally acceptable. This thread is no place for a political debate on Church teaching. On the other hand, our Church is a hospital for sinners so please show others the love and compassion of Christ. Peace be with you all.


#2

I put it has affected me mentally since it's so disturbing... there's really nothing else to say.:(


#3

My mother had an abortion, she thinks she made the right decision. If she hadn't, I would have had a younger sibling. I think given what we later went through as a family, it's good that there were fewer of us to take care of.


#4

I wonder and question the planned parenthood stats. 43% of women just seems to be such a large percentage, especially since many women have repeat abortions. I hope it isn’t true. :frowning:


#5

[quote="Mary_Gail_36, post:4, topic:180228"]
I wonder and question the planned parenthood stats. 43% of women just seems to be such a large percentage, especially since many women have repeat abortions. I hope it isn't true. :(

[/quote]

Yeah, that number seems WAY too high. It would be good business to say that more women get abortions though, so the ones that do don't feel as bad about it. I don't buy that statistic at all.


#6

[quote="prettylarge, post:5, topic:180228"]
Yeah, that number seems WAY too high. It would be good business to say that more women get abortions though, so the ones that do don't feel as bad about it. I don't buy that statistic at all.

[/quote]

I think that number is very high, too. But then it is provided by Planned Parenthood so what do we expect? I'm going to do some research to try to find out more.

I hope that number is not correct. Maybe they are counting spontaneous abortions. I really hope that number is not correct. :(


#7

All of society is effected by abortion. Our complacency makes many of us culpable in God’s eyes. Just like all of society (past, present and future) suffers do to the original sin of Adam and Eve.

God doesn’t like when we make ourselves gods by choosing to destroy what He has created.


#8

I can't really say that its had a personal effect on me.


#9

I have heard that same statistic many times. Whether it is true or not I can’t say, but I do believe that most of us DO know personally at least one person who has had an abortion… they just haven’t told you about it, and they may never do so. I think it is always a good idea, when writing or speaking about abortion, to assume that someone who has had an abortion or knows a woman who has will read or hear what you say.

I voted “abortion has affected a loved one mentally” because my husband, several years before he met me, lost a child to abortion. His girlfriend at the time insisted on aborting their child against his wishes; they broke up shortly afterward. He still carries a considerable amount of grief and resentment over this and to some extent has a grudge against women in general (even against women like myself who would never do such a thing) simply because the law has given them the “right” to kill their unborn children and granted the father no say in the decision.

Although he is very pro life, he isn’t a big fan of the pro-life movement as such, and thinks some of their tactics like displaying graphic pictures of aborted babies are extremely offensive. I think these are just too painful for him to handle.


#10

Ok, I know that I'll probably get a lot of flack here, and that's okay. We're all entitled to our opinions and we all have them regardless. And besides, you asked. I didn't come and post a thread regarding this subject so be nice...

Abortion does not affect me at all because it's not an option for me. Yes, I know, millions of babies die every year at the hands of their mother. And yes it does bother me. But rather than trying to change the world in the form of beating a dead horse, I choose to change my part of the world. If everyone would change their part of the world, the world would be a better place. By not choosing abortion, but emotionally supporting women who are faced with the option of having an abortion, by providing resources for pregnant women, we may be able to reduce the number of abortions. But you're not going to accomplish it with hellfire and brimstone. If someone would have an abortion, then they lack the teachings that dictate that it is wrong. Shaking your fist at them isn't going to change their mind. If they don't have a solid foundation, what we consider "right" and "morality" won't hold them together in their crisis.

For example, a former acquaintance of mine and I argued about the right to choose. And she vehemently denied the fact that the "fetus" had a soul from the moment of conception. She wasn't pregnant, we were just talking. But that's her belief. And I finally realized that if you don't believe that there's a little life in there, and you can't be convinced of that, then it's unlikely you're going to change your mind.

Folks, we can't "make" people believe. We can try, we can counsel, and can coax, but in the end, every woman has the right to make that decision themselves. And (forgive me), they should have that right. Why? because I wouldn't want to live by another religion's rules. If you think the RCC is strict, try Eastern Orthodox , Jewish or Muslim. And while I respect their religions (and regard them brethren in our mutual love and worship of God), I wouldn't want my laws based on their beliefs.

In addtion, I often find that pro-lifers are not able to put their money where their mouth is, unfortunately. Maybe it's not always possible, we all have our burdens in life. But look, I've seen it a few times: a woman finds herself pregnant, and can't find the help they need to support the pregnancy or the resulting child. They made a mistake, are scared, feel vunerable, and are in a panick. When asked for actual help, the person giving Catholic counsel pulls back, and says, "well, I wish I could help, but I'm not in the position. But abortion is a sin, so don't do it. You'll go to Hell". Essentially, abandoning their charge. When backed against a wall, people do the unthinkable. Yes, they were responsible for being backed into the wall, and surely, they created the wall, but nontheless, they find themselves in despair and confusion. Making abortion illegal isn't going to resolve it: they'll just resort to back alley abortions, or home-made abortions, some of which so darned simple that I won't mention it here - just to NOT give anyone any bad ideas.

Unfortunately, bringing "morality" back is one way to resolve the problem. And I say it's unfortunate because I find in real life that there are many different "brands" of morality, and convincing people to give up what they like (living immorally) is an extremely difficult task, and I'm sorry, as long as people are having intercourse, there will be pregnancies. That's a given.

However, as long as our government has made abortion legal, we really don't have any recourse but to pray and educate people who potentially could have abortions. By bringing people towards the Church with compassion and understanding and support, you're more likely to make a difference when what you want to stop is perfectly legal. And of course, you can (and should) lobby for the law to change. But considering the majority want a clear separation of church and state (including myself), I don't see how that's going to happen. Once rights are given, it's difficult to take them away. Again, those who lack a solid foundation will do all kinds of unthinkable things, whether they're legal or not.

And by making abortion legal, those unbelievers will burden society performing illegal abortions, either on themselves or others, by the resulting infections, injuries and/or death. It's just going to create a bigger mess. It's like saying guns are evil (they're not, the person holding the gun is. The gun is a tool. We control the tool. That's the same for abortion).

I don't agree with blowing up abortion clinics, killing doctors who perform abortions, bullying women walking into an abortion clinics, or making women who have had abortions basically "untouchables". All that is IMOHO unchristian and will drive people further away than shepherding them in.

Remember we are accountable for our actions (all of us, not just someone wanting to have an abortion). When you blow up an abortion clinic in the name of God and kill innocent and guilty people, you make the Church look bad, and you make offendors more defiant.

What do I suggest? Educate yourself. Brush up on your knowledge of the Church and Her teachings. When you find someone to be pregnant and who is considering an abortion, pray pray pray, both for you and her. Educate her as to the resources available to her, show her the scriptures, show her the dogma, and not in a belligerent accusatory way. Cuz you're not going to accomlish anything by doing that.

In the end, the only way to make a difference is with thoughful action, not by stamping your feet and calling everyone sinners.

But that's just my thought, I'm sure many will disagree with me....


#11

[quote="Rence, post:10, topic:180228"]

In addtion, I often find that pro-lifers are not able to put their money where their mouth is, unfortunately. Maybe it's not always possible, we all have our burdens in life. But look, I've seen it a few times: a woman finds herself pregnant, and can't find the help they need to support the pregnancy or the resulting child. They made a mistake, are scared, feel vunerable, and are in a panick. When asked for actual help, the person giving Catholic counsel pulls back, and says, "well, I wish I could help, but I'm not in the position. But abortion is a sin, so don't do it. You'll go to Hell". Essentially, abandoning their charge. When backed against a wall, people do the unthinkable. Yes, they were responsible for being backed into the wall, and surely, they created the wall, but nontheless, they find themselves in despair and confusion. Making abortion illegal isn't going to resolve it: they'll just resort to back alley abortions, or home-made abortions, some of which so darned simple that I won't mention it here - just to NOT give anyone any bad ideas.

[/quote]

It's all too true. The women who have abortions aren't these evil witches who just want to kill babies, they are often poor, young, feel they will not be able to support a child, feel the pregnancy itself will be too hard in terms of needing to work and needing the medical care.

A far bigger difference could be made by financially helping these women instead of just telling them that abortion is wrong.


#12

One of my dad’s girlfriend’s daughters had an abortion and it affected her mentally in a negative way.


#13

I have a cousin whose abusive husband coerced her into an abortion. So much for "choice." They are now divorced, but she'll live with that forever.

As for me personally, well my generation (X) is 25% smaller than it would have been so at the very least my impact is going to be shouldering an onerous burden paying for the Social Security of those who aborted my classmates.


#14

Where have you seen anyone shake fists at women considering abortion and refuse to provide help raising children? All I’ve seen is pleas to those women to consider accepting all kinds of help.

We can try, we can counsel, and can coax, but in the end, every woman has the right to make that decision themselves. And (forgive me), they should have that right. Why? because I wouldn’t want to live by another religion’s rules.

This doesn’t make any sense. It is science, not religion, that says the life of an individual mammal begins at fertilization of an ovum. It is not just one religion that says it is wrong to kill an innocent person, but nearly everyone who says so, including most atheists. Why should the lives of some people be at the absolute mercy of another person’s ignorance of biological reality?

In addtion, I often find that pro-lifers are not able to put their money where their mouth is, unfortunately. Maybe it’s not always possible, we all have our burdens in life. But look, I’ve seen it a few times: a woman finds herself pregnant, and can’t find the help they need to support the pregnancy or the resulting child. They made a mistake, are scared, feel vunerable, and are in a panick. When asked for actual help, the person giving Catholic counsel pulls back, and says, “well, I wish I could help, but I’m not in the position. But abortion is a sin, so don’t do it. You’ll go to Hell”. Essentially, abandoning their charge.

Not only have I never seen anything even a little bit like this, but I find it extremely hard to imagine. It’s probably very, very rare.

Making abortion illegal isn’t going to resolve it: they’ll just resort to back alley abortions

When abortion was illegal, government estimates at the time put the number of abortions per year in the US at one-tenth what they were a few years after legalization. Modern pro-life activists are working at providing free 4-D ultrasounds for all pregnant women. When women who have already scheduled abortions see these ultrasounds, nine-tenths cancel their appointments and choose life. With the combination of allowing states to restrict or ban abortion according to the will of the voters, free 4-D for every pregnant woman, the enormous pool of adoptive parents and pregnancy resource centers that abound today, and the day-care centers that now abound in colleges, high schools and some middle schools, abortion would very nearly vanish.

I don’t agree with blowing up abortion clinics, killing doctors who perform abortions, bullying women walking into an abortion clinics, or making women who have had abortions basically “untouchables”. All that is IMOHO unchristian and will drive people further away than shepherding them in.

I don’t know anyone who believes in any of these things. The activists who stand witness in front of abortion mills are praying and offering help to the women going in, and have saved thousands of babies that way.

What do I suggest? Educate yourself. Brush up on your knowledge of the Church and Her teachings. When you find someone to be pregnant and who is considering an abortion, pray pray pray, both for you and her. Educate her as to the resources available to her

That’s what we do.

In the end, the only way to make a difference is with thoughful action, not by stamping your feet and calling everyone sinners.

I’m baffled; have you really seen pro-life activists “stamp their feet and call everyone sinners”? The hundreds of them that I have seen and the many I personally know spend their time and resources, often at huge personal sacrifice, doing all they can to help women and children. Regardless of the frequent threats and harassment the “pro-choice” side uses against us (which the press tends to ignore), we carry on peacefully with love and patience. Did you really think otherwise? Do you live in some place where it is different? Because I know it is as I have seen it in many, many parts of the United States – both coasts, north, south, urban, rural and suburban. The pro-lifers are the ones offering help and love and patient reiterations of the truth. :confused:


#15

I am shocked at the number of people claiming that they do not know anyone with an abortion experience! :eek:

NEWSFLASH! It is statically guaranteed that you know someone who has had an abortion experience. We are just taught not to talk about it and bury our secrets along with the dead.

I too once lived in a world in which I thought abortion was rare and I knew no one who had experienced it. Once I started getting involved in the pro-life movement, members of my family came forward including my mom who had an abortion, my father who had an affair and aborted a baby, my stepmother, and my mother-in-law.

Trust me, once you start digging- you really don’t have to go too far to find lost souls closest to you.


#16

I have another question that I've been thinking of posting

" What if the gov't starts funding abortions with your tax dollars in the health care bill? What will you do?"

I've been really bugged by this possibly happening. I'm self employed and have been wrestling with the idea of not paying my taxes. It will really bug me if I am paying for abortions through the gov't.


#17

This has affected me spiritually and mentally and will for the rest of my life.
I was 17 when I had an abortion. I lived in an affluent town, was highly educated and loved by my family. I was raised Presbyterian and still was at the time. I was "in love" with a boy whom I lost my virginity to and became pregnant with.

(I would go on to marry someone else. We now have three, natural-born children, and have been married now for almost 18 years. I converted to Catholicism in the 90's.)

My mother found out about my being pregnant because I told her. She was my rock. There was no discussion, however, about having the baby, abortion was the only option. I was taken to a local hospital and the chief of Obstetrics performed the abortion himself. I went home, cried, and went on with my life. This "boy" and I went on to date another 9 years. I became pregnant 2 more times with him. Those were in my early 20's and were my decision.

I went to college, became a teacher, enjoyed my family and friends, traveled, and met my current husband whom I told about having had the abortion. He was very loving and forgiving.We married, bought a big, beautiful home in the same affluent town we grew up in, drove a nice car, had children, a white picket fence and a dog and cat too. Perfect life? Hardly.

Underneath the nice jewelery and clothing and tanned skin from trips to Florida, I became a functioning alcoholic and prescription drug addict for 27 years. My drug of choice? Vicodin. Pain pills. Ironic? No.

For years I tried to numb the pain of what I had done. You see, I was adopted at birth. My own birth-mother could have aborted me, but I was given life, thankfully.

It took me years of drowning myself in red wine and pills to figure out what it was I trying to numb. How could I be unhappy? I had everything and more...

Really?

All of those "things" didn't matter. What really mattered were the lives I had selfishly ended. My own children's lives. I sacrificed them for freedom and for my own selfish agenda. Now granted, I used birth control, but apparently we didn't use it all the time. When I became pregnant, I was devastated because I wanted to have these babies. I thought I was "in love" with this "boy" who was now a man. He didn't want children then. But truth be told, ( finally).... I was secretly relieved. Devastated and guilt-ridden and ashamed, but relieved. I knew we never would have made it as a couple and there was no financial security. I had fallen in love with this man when we were 16. He was my "first love". He was not the man I wanted to spend my life with.

I was playing a deadly game. I used the lives of my very own children as props and threw them away when I realized that I couldn't step up and face the responsibility.

And let me tell you that not a DAY goes by that I don't cry for those babies. I have cried buckets of tears and spent hours and hours praying and asking them and God to forgive me.

I did voluntarily put myself in rehab 5 years ago and have been in successful recovery since then. I went through years of therapy as well.

But I have stayed away from church and miss it so very much. Our children are Catholic and my husband is a "cradle Catholic". When I took my first communion back in '94, I never went to confession. I took the blessed sacrament without confessing first. I am terrified I am destined for Hell. I pray to God each and every day for forgiveness. I want so much to go back to mass, but know I need to go to confession first. I am scared. I need to have a shred of hope that God will forgive me. I have loved Him all of my life and always will. This experience has not made me realize that. He has always been important to me, even when I turned away from Him.

Abortion to some is something that is done during a lunch break. Some even convince themselves that it shouldn't matter because it doesn't even have a soul yet ( Didn't God say,"I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb." Jeremiah 1:5). To me, my children had souls when the sperm met the egg. You can tell yourself that you were young and foolish and didn't know any better. That your family will shame you or society will. That your boyfriend or husband will hate you if you have the child. You can tell yourself that lots of women have had these "procedures" and that it's no big deal.

But ask yourself this...
What is missing in your life? What is that little voice that cries to you in the night? Where do those feelings of emptiness and worthlessness and shame come from? Even if your life if full, why don't you ever feel full? I'm not judging anyone here. I'm simply asking you to stop and really think about what abortion does not only to your child and their soul; but to your soul too. I will forever be sorry and forever cry tears of sadness and regret for what I did. There's no absolution for that.


#18

[quote="lily4465, post:17, topic:180228"]
This has affected me spiritually and mentally and will for the rest of my life.

[/quote]

Lily THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SPEAKING UP! Thank you for your courage and God Bless You. I pray that your words will touch some hearts.


#19

Thank you and blessings to you too!


#20

I am not 100% on this, considering the mental state of most of my mother's family, but I've been told I was suppose to have a 7th sibling, but my mother's parents made her have an abortion. This is just talk, so I don't know.

I know it effects me psychologically because of how disturbing it is, though.


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