Hello Fellow Christians,
In my past I have done many shameful things. I have had two abortions both under the age of 17. I have also been on birth control. I can list millions of excuses of why I was having pre-marital sex in the first place, and why I cowardly chose abortion over life. But I will not make any. I regreat all acts ever day of my life. I have been to confession for those sins, and yet the shame lives on. I know god has forgiven me, but what about my fellow man.
My life has changed now, god is my focus. I no longer live for myself, but for him. I’am not perfect, but try to do what he wants now. I have been in a relationship for 11 months now. At the begining of the relationship the topic of abortion came up, and we began discussing why people do it, extra, extra… and he asked me if I had ever done that or would I ever consider it. I lied and said no. I did not want to decieve him, but I did not want to open up about something so deep and painful to someone I did not know that well. We are growing closer, and we have both expressed that we loved each other. I have not told very many people about my past, mainly just close relatives, who helped me commit the sin. I feel deeply ashamed of my past. He is a very devout catholic, and is totally anti abortion, which I’am now as well. I feel we are getting to the point where I’m starting to see him as one day becomming my husband, and vice versa… I do not want to keep secrets from him, but at the same time I do not want to dimish his view of me, of who I’am and what values/morales I wish to live. When is the right time to tell someone about my past, should it be when we become engaged, dating, or after the marriage has taken place. Please help!